Escape from Switzerland
by jillbetsonalice
Summary: This story takes place during New Moon and goes a little off from there. It is a very dark look at Jacob so I apologize to Jacob fans, you make not like this. Rated as such for graphic violence at times and adult themes. Please Read and Respond! :
1. Chapter 1

**Bella's POV**

--

I was alone. Edward was gone and, as far as I knew, he was not coming back. It had been long enough that I didn't awaken every five minutes because I thought I felt his coolness next to me. Long enough that I no longer slept with the window open as wide as it would go. And, long enough, that the pain had dulled my senses so that the tears had time to dry on my cheeks before some memory set them flowing once again. But I had found, however, that my beloved had been wrong about one thing: human memories would never fade. The memory of his voice, his scent, his touch and every moment that we had spent together still echoed fresh in my mind. Ghosts of a happier past taunted me, scratching at my wounds until they opened and spilled new pain into my already damaged heart. No, I didn't believe those memories, or feelings, would ever cease to exist.

Alone, save the ghosts, I was alone. But if I was so alone then why did I feel as if I were being watched? I was certain that I heard a twig snap and my breath caught in throat. My legs begged me to run, pleaded with me to escape the one place that I thought I could escape to. I scanned the trees for any sign of movement while Edward's voice echoed in my ear, "Don't go into the woods alone." Just the sound of his voice from a memory was enough to open a new wound. But had he been right? Were there creatures out here in the dense trees that were more frightening than my vampire? If there were, I was angry with them. The woods were my place to come and hide in solace. I could escape my life in the woods. Time did not exist, the ticking of each passing second did not echo loudly in my ears reminding me of my own mortality, and I didn't have to count the seconds that my heart was broken. If I wasn't alone then I no longer wanted to be in the woods. It wasn't fair. I only longed for a place to drown in my own memories, hell, it was better than any drug that I could imagine. But, if whoever, or whatever, was out in the trees, watching me, wanted to steal the one thing I still had that was mine then fine. I would leave. I turned, stopping to glance once more at the trees. I couldn't let myself believe that it was Edward. Because I knew that it wasn't. Nor was it Carlisle, or Alice, Emmett, Jasper, or Esme. I even missed Rosalie. No, I couldn't let myself hope that it was a vampire. Hope wasn't an emotion that I felt anymore. Hope no longer existed.

Fine. I would leave. I turned on my heels and sped back to Charlie's leaving the woods, and the eerie feeling of being watched, far behind me.

Once home I fell into my normal afternoon routine. Routines were comforting; they were normal, productive, and something that I could do without thinking about it. I threw in a load of towels and pulled chicken out of the freezer to defrost for dinner. The door of the cabinet creaked open as I retrieved a dust rag and bottle of duster from its shelves, I sprayed the rag with the lemon scented wax and ran the rag across the table. The silence was deafening, yet comforting at the same time. If the room was silent then I wouldn't be asked "How do you feel?" or "Have you heard from him?" or, my personal favorite, "Do you think he's found a hot LA girl?" Such meaningless questions to ask, yet, I wished I could answer them truthfully. Instead of saying "I feel empty." "I never hear from them" and "I doubt it, he sparkles in the sun…that would weird LA girls out." I offered up the robotic answers of, "Fine." "Nope." and "Probably."

Satisfied with my handy work I tossed the rag into the dirty clothes hamper and walked into the living room. I flopped down onto the couch and turned on the television set, the sound from the sitcom playing startled me. I glanced at the clock; Charlie would be home soon, I would serve dinner, then I would retreat to my room, do homework, shower, and write in my journal. I would then drift off into a troubled sleep filled with nightmares about the monster that I missed the most. As I thought about the tasks ahead of me I let my hand fall onto the pillow, it hit something hard and plastic. I pulled back the pillow and discovered my camera wedged, forgotten, between the pillow and the couch arm. I hadn't remembered putting it there but it was there all the same. I clenched my jaw tight, thinking of the first, and last images that had been taken with this camera; I lifted my chin up, examining the camera as if it were trying to taunt me; I would rather be angry than sad. I would rather scream profanities than let the tears escape my eyes, but I would not win. In the comfort of my own home, away from prying eyes, I let my tough "I'm perfectly fine" resolve down. A sob caught in my throat and I slid from the couch to the floor sobbing into my hands. My tears made my hair cling to my cheeks, it was a messy thing, crying, sobbing hysterically like I was but I couldn't help him. That was the thing; I wanted so badly to leave the window open, to have him crawl through and make my skin feel like ice, but my skin burned with the fierce tears that spilled quickly down my cheeks.

I sobbed rather loudly and heard a thud outside the window. It startled me and my head shot up quickly. The tears still fell but they now hit the carpet as I crawled to the window. In the dim light of the setting sun (a rare sight in Forks), I saw a large, red apple, laying awkwardly in the dense green grass of Charlie's side yard.


	2. Chapter 2

**Bella's POV**

--

Dinner with Charlie had been awkward, just as it always was nowadays. We tried to keep the conversation light and the name "Cullen" hadn't been spoken in our household for some time now. Tonight, however, I was especially distracted and Charlie had noticed. He had to wave his hands in front of my face several time to bring me back from my reverie. I had asked him if the tree in the sideyard was an apple tree; he had chuckled and responded with a 'no' which only fueled my curiosity as to where the hell the apple had come from. Las time I had checked (and it was practically every day considering Forks was in a constant state of dreariness) rainclouds produced rain, hail, snow, and sleet but weren't well known for bearing fruit.

Charlie had grown to accept my disconnection from reality. He blamed no one and nothing except the throngs of young love for the situation that I found myself in. He did not like to see me hurt, what father did? But , at least as far as he knew, I didn't cry anymore. If only he had seen the tears I had shed earlier as I sat alone on the living room floor. Alone, I had been alone hadn't I? Thinking that, even in my own home, I had no way to be truly alone, frightened me. I quickly pushed the thoughts from my mind and cleared the table in a hurry. I said my quick goodnights to Charlie and, my mind full of thoughts, escaped to my room.

I decided to take a shower, thinking that the steam would help clear my head. I took unbearably hot showers since he left. Something about the scalding water helped wash away the negativity from the day, then, and only if I was lucky, could I sleep without the nightmares that waited in the darkest corners of my mind coming out to play. I would dream hideous things, painful things: falling into nothingness with only the sound of Edward's laughter following/Alice with wicked, red eyes/The Cullens, all dead, burning in a hideous pile of flames that seemed to cackle at me as they rippled their way towards the sky. And, in the rarest of nights when the vampires didn't make an appearance, I dreamt of wolves; wolves with piercing, threatening eyes, deep snarls ripping from their chests, jaws snapping open and shut inches from my face.

I allowed the burning water to pound relentlessly against my skin, it relaxed my muscles and I was free to let the tears of the day fall. I cried for a short time, the water washing away any sign that I had cried in the first place. I washed my hair with the same shampoo that I always used, the one that smelled like strawberries. I concentrated on putting together the puzzle that the day had presented me. Had I been too crazy to think something had been watching me from the woods? Was it that absurd in this world where monsters really did exist? And, at home today, when the apple had appeared, unceremoniously on the ground as if it had been thrown there in a bout of frustration, what had been the cause then? I was curious to know and, just as reckless, to find out for myself.

When the water ran cold I exited the shower, my skin slightly red, and wrapped a towel around my body and the other around my hair. I wiped the steam from the mirror and momentarily contemplated whether or not Charlie would be angry that I used all the hot water. I then proceeded to brush my teeth and plan my weekend. The next day was Saturday and Charlie had suggested that I go to La Push to visit Jacob. I felt as if Jacob Black were being shoved down my throat. It wasn't Jacob's fault, and it wasn't really Charlie's either. No one understood that the only boy that I longed to have a hug from was miles and miles away by now, possibly even across the ocean. However, I wanted to keep Charlie from speculating the real hurt that I felt, so I would go to La Push, I enjoyed the beach and I hadn't seen Jacob in what felt like months (though length of time at this point didn't really register with me) I was anxious to see how he had changed; plus, he didn't ask too many questions concerning my lost vampires. To Jacob, vampires were strictly a legend, but to me they were the one thing I missed most in my life.

My hair took forever to dry, even under the intense heat of my hairdryer, and I finally gave up and retreated to my room with damp hair in hopes that, maybe, the water had been hot enough for me to drift off to sleep. I lay on top of my covers; it was still too hot to lie under my quilt. Also, being slightly cooler made sort of an 'Edward-simulator'. Was I completely losing it? Sometimes I thought that it was possible, then, I thought, maybe I was just in love. No matter if Edward loved me or hated me I knew I would always love him. I turned restlessly and finally decided to write. If I got some speculation, some thought, out on paper, then maybe I could sleep.

I grabbed my journal, heavy and weathered, off the nightstand. It hat been a belated birthday gift from someone, for the life of me I could remember who. I flipped quickly to an empty page; my sporadic flipping caused me to slice my finger on one of the pages and I quickly stuck my finger in my mouth to prevent any blood from bubbling to the surface. A knee-jerk reaction I guessed, if only I had that reaction on my birthday then maybe I wouldn't be sitting alone on my bed right now. I sighed, examining my finger; no blood, no foul. My pen resisted the urge to start writing so I had to scribble a couple nonsense lines on the top of the paper before the ink began flowing.

I thought today was going to be an up day, but just as it started to go up it fell down. I can't let myself hope that it's Edward watching me. I won't let myself hope. If it was him than he would have said something right? He would bursting through my window right now wouldn't he? I know Alice wouldn't be able to keep quiet long enough to sit still and actually keep an eye on me. And I know that no Cullen would ever be clumsy enough to drop an apple. The who, or what, is out there? Or is it simply nothing? I may just be continuing to lose my mind. Apples, and rustles in the trees should, theoretically, be the least of my worries. I'm scared of fruit and longing for vampires to return to my life. Yep, I'm pretty fucked up. On another note, the only time I cried for him today was when I discovered my camera...oh and in the shower but that doesn't count because I said so. I miss the feeling of security, and new love. Things that I had never felt before I met him. I only wish that he would come back. To kiss me again, to hold my hand, I don't care how icy it feels. I only want him back. To feel someone care for me that greatly again would make me happy. I'm not getting any younger.

Bella

I closed my journal and sighed. I realized that I was still wrapped in my towel and jumped up from my bed to retrieve pajamas from my dresser. I let the towel slide off my dry skin and allowed it to drop to the floor. I was about to pull my pajama shirt over my head when I heard a limb crack, and what I assumed was a grunt, outside my window. It startled me. I no longer slept with the window open wide for Edward but it was muggy so I left it open a crack to let some air circulate. I noise scared me and I automatically felt all the color drain from my face. I felt violated. I dressed quickly. Just then lightening from an oncoming storm lit up the night sky of Forks. Had it just been the storm? Was I imagining things? I was sure then that there was no way I would be sleeping.

I awoke; apparently I had managed to fall asleep, to a rather surprisingly sunny day in Forks. The storm hadn't lasted too long and the grass only looked slightly soggy. There was a limb cracked off the tree outside my window and I momentarily wondered whether the storm had caused that or if it was something else.

I hurried downstairs to find Charlie already gone. He had left a note for me on the kitchen table. I guessed he'd gone fishing and I was right:

Bella -

Have fun today. I've gone fishing with Billy to get ready for that big two week trip we're going on next week. Are you sure you'll be alright when I leave? It's just I don't get a break very often and it will leave some room down at the station for the trainees to get some work in. Anyway, we'll talk about it later. Say hi to Jacob for me and be nice to him Bells, he's been sick lately.

I smirked at Charlie's note and hurried out the door. I was able to wear a t-shirt and shorts in the muggy Forks heat. It was a shock to not have to wear a sweater and jeans. I climbed into my truck and, to my relief, it started with little persuasion on my part. Lately my truck had not wanted to cooperate when starting and I was starting to fear that it was on it's last leg. I didn't want a new car, however sporty and fast Edward may have made one had he stuck around long enough to buy me a new one, I loved my truck. I put it in drive and sped off toward La Push to have a nice day at the beach and conversation with Jacob. If only I knew how much Jacob black had changed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Bella' POV**

--

My truck barreled down the lane towards the Black residence. The large aviator sunglasses that I wore kept slipping down my nose as my truck creaked, groaned, and bounced down the gravely uneven drive. I wore the glasses every chance I got; they were Edward's and I felt triumphant that these were the one thing of his that he had left behind.

"As if I never existed...Ha! I showed you." I said to absolutely nothing. I'd found them, stashed in my glovebox. I had cried for an hour straight after first discovering them but now they reminded me of warmer times. Of rare summer days that, when it was actually sunny in Forks, the Cullens would spend the afternoons outside. In the comfort of their own, expansive yard they were free to enjoy the warm sunlight. I especially remembered the way Alice's skin glittered like a million tiny facets throwing rays of light onto the nearby trees. The rays would twist and bend as her slight frame danced about to whatever tune was playing in her mind. I was the only dull stone amongst a sea of glittering diamonds. Edward would wear his aviators (either to shield his eyes from his glinting siblings' skin or because he felt he looked cool in them) while we played frisbee and hide n' go seek. I failed miserably at both games when I was just playing with other humans, watching me play with a pack of five vampires must have been downright painful to watch. Carlisle and Esme would sit on the lawn and read old books that they must have read thousands of times over. They would occasionally scold the boys for playing too roughly with each other,

"Don't make me send Alice to break you boys up!" Esme would call as the boys wrestled on the ground to get the runaway frisbee. They would also scold Edward, Alice, and Jasper for improper use of extra abilities,

"Edward, it's not fair if you read Emmett's mind every time he goes to hide! And Jasper stop trying to make Bella feel as if she should second guess where you're hiding every time she's it! Play fair. And remember, you have to hide where the sun can't reach you or the game isn't really fun at all is it?" He'd then return to his wife and they would sit and watch and we would play for hours and hours without any real sense of time. Finally the sun would sink beneath the horizon and the summer excitement would move inside where the simple game of 'Uno' would fill the Cullen house with booming laughter and 'Scrabble' was impossible to win if you hadn't been alive for over seventy years...

I was brought out of the vault of my memories when I realized I had arrived at Jacob's. I sniffed back the tears that threatened to spill over and removed Edward's sunglasses, the filter through which I saw the past, and shoved them back into their hiding place. I slammed my heavy truck door just as Jacob was walking the short path to where I stood,

"Bella!" his booming voice was much lower than I had remembered and it painfully reminded me of Emmett. He was tossing an apple up and down as he walked toward me. He rolled it up his arm and tried to bounce it back in his hand but he missed and it fell to the ground with a resounding thunk. I looked down at the apple, "Oops, clumsy." He said, I tore my eyes away from the apple and stared up at the tremendously oak-like Jacob,

"Jake, you grew!" I exclaimed. He reached me and chuckled bringing me into a tight hug. It was always hotter and sweatier hugging Jacob, so much different than hugging Edward. Hugging Jacob always felt like hugging a wet, hot, towel; Edward was more like hugging a cool, smooth stone from the river.

"You have too!" He said with a strange smile. I wasn't sure what he meant by that but I pushed it away as meaningless. I took a good look at Jacob; his hair had been cropped short and his eyes seemed darker and more intense since the last time I had seen him. He grinned at me, "You look nice Bella Swan." He said clapping me on the back. I fell forward slightly at the force of his hand on my shoulder.

"How are you feeling? I heard you were sick." I said readjusting myself. His eyes flashed suddenly,

"Where'd you hear that?" He said, almost hissed. It startled me slightly. Jacob's attitude wasn't known for doing a complete 180 like that.

"Uh...Charlie left it in a note before he went fishing this morning. But you seem fine now...you are fine aren't you?" I asked him. I was still shocked by his sudden shift in mood when I had asked him how he felt. A slight breeze rustled the leaves on the trees as we stood in awkward silence for a moment. His mouth pulled into, what I could only assume, was meant to be a smirk. It seemed more like a sneer to me,

"Never better." He said. He laughed a bit and, as if repeating it to ensure himself ,he whispered, "Never better." I nodded, it was the only response I could think of and instinctively folded my arms against my chest. Jacob let out a laugh, which startled me even further,

"Let's go Bells, we're meeting Sam at the cliffs along the beach." He strode by me and began walking in the direction of the beach. I stood for a moment, watching the muscular figure that was Jacob walk away from me. I thought back onto the first time we had talked together, on the beach, when he had told me the stories of the 'cold ones'. How I had immediately thought of the Cullens, and how I had been correct. "Just stories" he had told me...but I wondered, now as I watched his form disappear, if anything anymore could simply be passed off as 'just stories'. "Come on slow poke!" He shouted. I snapped out of my trance and hurried up to join him.

"I didn't think you liked hanging out with Sam." I said breathlessly as I jogged to keep up. Jacob glanced down at me as he strolled closer to the cliff side,

"I had a change of heart. Sam and I had a long talk while I was...sick." He wrinkled his nose as he said the word. "We see eye to eye on a lot more than I had previously thought. He's a good guy, I think you'll like him." He said. I glanced away from Jacob's eyes and ahead at the tall figure standing on the cliffs.

"Swan." Sam said acknowledging me as we strode up stand next to him. I cocked my head slightly to one side. I had always regarded Sam with a bit of caution. The "La Push Gang" always frightened me just a bit, it was the idea of their unknown ways that sent shivers up and down my backbone.

"Sam." I said nodding at him. I wind was fiercer up on top of the cliffs and the air felt as if it had dropped a good ten degrees. My hair whipped around my face blinding me momentarily until I could pull it free from in front of my eyes. I really hoped that they didn't think I was going to be throwing myself off any cliffs. I stared down into the dark water below. It was slightly choppy, but for the most part appeared as if it would only hurt half as hard as hitting concrete. The water swirled and undulated like a hypnotic washing machine, catching me in it's meditative web. It made my mind race; the black water reminded me of my nightmares, of the wolves and their snapping jaws and accusing eyes.

"Ready?" Sam asked. His voice was just as husky as Jacob's and it startled me as I pulled my gaze away from the eerie water. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Jacob peeling off his shirt.

"You know that's going to hurt like hell if you land wrong in the water." I said shaking my head at my friend. He tossed his shirt to the side and approached me placing both of his massive hands on either side of my small shoulders,

"Oh Bella. I never land wrong." He said shaking his head as if I should know better. "Now come on." He said. He scooped me up bridal style into his arms,

"Wait what?! No I don't think so, Jake put me down!" I struggled in his iron grasp and Sam chuckled darkly. He sat me down on the edge of where they were going to jump. I made no move to turn and run, simply because I was, literally, scared stiff. The water seemed much more threatening even though we were only a few steps closer to the edge. It didn't seem to bother Sam or Jacob but I was terrified and wanted nothing more than to turn and sprint back to Charlie's.

"Ready Bella?" Jake asked poising himself a little further back from the edge as if to get a running start. I laughed and shook my head,

"I don't think so! You guys go right ahead and hurl yourself off the side of a cliff. I'll watch from up here. Safe. At least I think I'm safe." I took one more horrifying glance at the water down below. Sam chuckled darkly beside Jacob,

"I told you she would wimp out Black." He sneered leering at me differently than I'd ever seen him look before. He was shadowed perhaps, and I began to grow scared. Jacob sighed and turned toward me, abandoning his "at the ready" stance.

"Come on Bella it'll be fun." He said, but he didn't sound like he was having fun. He sounded serious, and I didn't like it. There went his attitude again, the complete 180 that I wasn't used to. And didn't like. I stood my ground,

"I said no Jake. I don't want to jump, my clothes will weigh me down and, to be honest I'm a little scared." I said folding my arms once again against my chest. Jacob let out a booming laugh, but it was dark and not filled with any humor whatsoever.

"What are you afraid of?" He asked, his voice was low, dark, accusing and his eyes bore into me.

"The height for one and...and I'm not sure I like your attitude." I said. I was becoming nervous. I instinctively wished for Edward and I think it showed on my face because what Sam said next floored me,

"She's worried her little bloodsuckers won't save her." Sam chuckled from somewhere behind me. He had been beside me a moment ago. My mouth opened a little as I stared at Jacob. My eyes were wide with shock,

"What did he just say?" I asked, staring only at Jacob. His eyes flashed to Sam and back to mine.

"Nothing, hurry up Bella. Get over your dumb fears." He said, he was being downright mean now and I wanted to leave so badly but the words that had come out of Sam's mouth had me staying,

"No tell me what he said!" I nearly shouted though my voice was beginning to become lost in the wind. Jacob rolled his eyes, "Tell me what he said Jacob! Tell me the words he just used!" I repeated attempting to make my voice sound stronger.

"I said come on you little leech lover!" Jacob shouted and grabbed my arm roughly. I hit his hand instinctively with my fist and I believe it hurt me more than it hurt him. Sam hopped down in front of me.

"I said, you were worried about your little bloodsuckers coming to save you." Sam said in a taunting voice. I blinked feverishly back and forth between the two of them. I shook my head and began backing away,

"I don't know what you're talking about. Jake? Jacob answer me! You told me those were just stories! You didn't believe them..." I trailed off as Sam bore down on top of me. He let out a tremendous laugh,

"Just stories! Oh no Miss Swan. Around here, the fairytale monster are as real as the breaths you have to take to stay alive." Sam's breath was hot on my face, so unlike Edward's. I looked around him at Jacob. He stood, breathing hard, his hands curled into fists. Curled as he had curled his hand around my arm.

"Jacob?" I asked once more. Jacob looked up at me, his eyes hard, unfamiliar,

"I believe now." He whispered, harshly. I scrambled up to a standing position. I turned on my heels and I ran. I ran as fast as I could,

"Bella come back!" Jacob bellowed, "Bella! It doesn't have to be this way!" His voice followed me as I sped as fast as I could, "They are never coming back Bella!" was the last thing I heard as I ran, with wobbling legs, back to my truck. I was scared and I was shaking. All I wanted was one day, one day with a friend. I wanted Edward, I needed his arms around me, I needed something. I was terrified.

I miraculously made it home and, thankfully, before Charlie. I darted inside, making sure I locked the door, and threw myself onto my bed. Maybe it was just Sam's influence, maybe Jacob didn't believe. I needed him not to believe, I needed him to stay Jacob. To stay my friend. If I couldn't have my vampires back I didn't want my friend to be taken from me too. But he had frightened me too much, things were changing, and I felt as if a bad storm were on it's way to Forks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Bella's POV**

--

My eyes focused on the alarm clock. I was startled to realize that Charlie would more than likely be home at any moment and my current state would not convey the "I had such a great day with Jake Dad!" image that he would be expecting. I looked down at the arm I had been resting my head on and quickly noticed the giant purple bruise that had formed from where Jacob had grabbed me. That, I was sure, Charlie wouldn't miss. And why shouldn't I tell him what happened? Because, I couldn't take Charlie hurting anymore, I couldn't take anymore confrontation in this pitiful thing I called an existence. I would simply ignore Jacob, maybe he would call to apologize, maybe he would tell me it was just a misunderstanding. Those thoughts comforted me...a little.

I peeled myself off the bed, threw on a long sleeved sweatshirt, and rushed to the kitchen to make it appear as if I had made some sort of attempt at starting dinner. I heard the front door open and close followed by Charlie's gruff voice calling me from the foyer,

"Bella?" his voice carried into the kitchen. I hadn't been a moment too soon in rushing down the stairs,

"I'm in here Dad. Dinner is going to be late, I fell asleep." I said. It wasn't exactly a lie.

"That's fine, I need to talk to you anyway." Charlie pulled his chair away from the table and sat down roughly,

"What's up?" I asked not taking my eyes off the potato I was peeling. I wasn't sure if tears had stained my cheeks and I didn't want to be caught red cheeked and teary eyed,

"Well, Billy and I weren't going to leave until Monday night but a storm is heading this way and, well, we want to avoid it so I think we may leave tomorrow morning. Is that okay? I don't have to go Bella. I can stay...if you need me." I swallowed hard at that comment. Of course there was a part of me that wanted spill my emotions to someone, to let them know the pain that I felt. That person used to be Jacob but recent events had me believing that that was now an impossible request. I didn't need Charlie to hold my hand anymore. I wasn't sure that he would be able to hold my hand if I really needed him to. My problems were far greater than he would ever be able to fathom; not that he would believe me if I suddenly said, "I really miss Edward and his vampire family and I'm really upset that they had to leave because Jasper tried to eat me. Oh, and Jacob is acting strange and I think it may be because he's a werewolf." No, best to stick with the fake, human explanations I had given him,

"No dad, I'm fine. I can take care of myself. Rain in Forks never hurt anyone." I said with as much confidence as I could muster. Charlie paused for a second,

"Do you want Jake to come stay with you?" The words shocked me and I dropped the potato peeler,

"No!" I all but shrieked. I saw Charlie's startled expression reflected in the kitchen window. There was another pause as I searched my mind for an explanation for my actions. Charlie broke the awkward silence,

"Bella?" He began to question but I cut him off,

"Sorry, I dropped the peeler...it cut my finger. Sorry I yelled." I tried to sound as if I'd regained my composure. I didn't want Charlie to have any idea how much I did NOT want Jacob Black staying with me. Charlie stared at me, his eyes questioning me intently. Finally, I decided to face him,

"Jake doesn't have to babysit me Dad. I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself." Charlie nodded once and nothing else was spoke about the subject.

I threw together a rather unimpressive meatloaf, mashed the potatoes I had been peeling and served dinner. We both picked at our plates in silence for a good five minutes before Charlie felt the need to interrupt my quiet time. I had just begun to think about ways to talk to Jacob about what happened without actually having to see him when Charlie looked up from his plate,

"Just be careful while I'm gone. Don't run off to Phoenix...please." He sounded shockingly serious. I couldn't help but chuckle at him,

"Dad, come on have a little faith in me." I replied. I put my fork down and stared at my father's intent gaze. I knew he worried that every time he turned his back I would disappear again.I knew very well that I had hurt him when I had taken off, rather unexpectedly, to Phoenix and nearly gotten myself killed when I "tripped down the hotel stairs." Yeah, that's what had happened, I'd tripped. Charlie huffed and shoveled food into his mouth. I laughed and reached across the table to pat his arm, that's when the sleeve of my sweatshirt dragged across the mashed potatoes,

"Shoot, gross." I said and rolled up my sleeves forgetting, momentarily, why I had put the sweatshirt on in the first place. Charlie's expression reminded me very quickly,

"Isabella what happened to your arm?!" He shouted staring at the bruise that was getting more grotesque each time I looked at it. Jacob must be stronger than I thought. I lied quickly,

"Oh that, I was just scrambling around on the rocks with Jake and I slipped. I was just trying to keep up, I got ahead of myself." I chuckled nervously and pulled my sleeve down mashed potatoes be damned.

"What am I going to do with you?" Charlie asked shaking his head as he chewed. I laughed again and began to clear my dishes from the table. Charlie eventually retreated to the living room to watch a game and I silently washed the dishes. We said our goodnights and he told me, once again, to be careful while he was gone. I hugged him, which felt good, and retreated upstairs.

After another excruciatingly hot shower I retreated to the safety of my room. The steam had partially cleared my mind and I was able to think about the best way to go about speaking to Jacob. I desperately wanted to ignore him but I knew that would never be possible. He had said so many hurtful words that I needed to know what prompted it. If it really was just Sam's influence I needed to know that we could still be friends. If it was something else, if something had really changed, I needed to know what and why.

"I believe now." Jacob's words echoed in my mind over and over again like a crude, mocking record stuck on repeat. I wanted to document all of what had happened and what I intended to do about it. I reached over, instinctively, to my nightstand to retrieve my journal but found that it did not lie in it's normal spot. I sat up and looked around curiously, it was always lying right on my nightstand within reach. I searched under my bed, on my desk, and even in my closet but my journal was nowhere to be found. I was too tired to look for my missing journal, I deduced that it had probably found it's way into my backpack and that I would find it in the morning.

I turned off my light sending my bedroom into darkness. "They are never coming back!" again Jacob's words echoed painfully in my head. Somehow, hearing it from someone else's mouth, made it that much more real. I had never felt so alone, so empty, void of love and void of friendship. I want to sob, I wanted to cry out so loudly that maybe Edward would be able to hear me. I wanted Alice to see my situation not getting any better and beg Edward to return to my side, I wanted Jasper to feel the pain I felt and send me waves of calm. I wanted my life back; I wanted to feel complete again, but I knew that would never again happen. Everything I held dear had been ripped to shreds in such a short amount of time. My heavy eyelids closed against my better judgment and I drifted off into a troubled sleep.

**Edward's POV**

"Alice leave me alone!" I all but snarled at my sister. Whirling around I spied her a few steps from me dancing about in the overgrown ferns that littered the forest floor. She looked at me and smirked,

"No." She stated simply. I growled and shifted my weight so I was in more of a fighting stance. Alice simply laughed her cool, confident laugh and strode up next to me,

"Oh you want to fight do you brother? Well bring it on. You know that I am just as strong as you. I may even be a little faster." She snapped playfully in my face. I held my ground firmly for a few more moments then, mentally tired from the day, I relaxed. She smiled triumphantly and began walking next to me. We traveled in silence for a good fifteen minutes; I had been running, at top speed, but had slowed down to a walk to acknowledge the direction in which I was heading. That's when Alice had caught up with me,

"It didn't take you long to find me." I said. My voice was neither comical nor critical in tone. Just the flat, monotone sound that my siblings had come to expect from me in the past months. Alice looked down, she seemed a little disappointed, maybe she had expected, maybe even wished that I would have been angry with her. Perhaps she wished for anything but the monotone responses she often received. She turned to me,

"You know Edward..." I cut her off quickly. So quickly that I feared I may have hurt her feelings,

"I don't want to hear it Alice!" I shouted. My voice boomed, bouncing off the trees that surrounded us. Alice looked at me questioningly, "Leave Bella alone! We've done enough without you hiding in the background being able to predict the outcome of her every move." I growled. Alice blinked at me, I tried to read her thoughts but all I got was a jumbled mess of different verses from Milton's Paradise Lost. This irritated me even further,

"I think it's a useful thing! But that's beside the point, I haven't check on Bella in weeks! So don't you go scolding me Edward Cullen do you understand?" Alice never yelled at me but I guess there was a first time for everything even when you were immortal. I nodded sheepishly, "Good! Now, if you had let me explain...you do know you're heading in the directions of Forks don't you? I mean, were a long way away according to human standards but we are moving in that direction." Alice pointed out as we continued our walk far away from the rest of our family. I stared at her from the corner of my eye. There was silence between us before I finally responded. I nodded once, and only once, we continued on our trek and Alice bounced even happier next to me,

"I knew it!" She sang, "Well of course I knew it but you didn't make up your mind until about...well...now when you told me. I was hoping we were going there why else would you go into the woods without your brothers? Oh this is so exciting!" her hands clapped enthusiastically together,

"I just want to check in. I just want to see. If she has completely moved on then, well, that's that. No more. Got it?" I pointed a stern finger in my sister's direction. She stuck out her tongue in response,

"So does that mean I can start looking at her future? Oh please!" She bounced back and forth. I sighed a long winded sigh. A sigh that seemed to be made of all the hurt that I felt. And the hurt I would feel if I were to find that Bella was indeed perfectly fine. What kind of a sick, twisted freak would want that?

"Fine." I said. I turned to start walking again and Alice squealed with delight. I knew she was searching carefully because she said nothing else after I gave her the go ahead. It had been a good five minutes when I stopped short. Alice wasn't walking behind me anymore. I turned quickly to find her standing as still as a statue her eyes fixed on a low point in the ground,

"Alice? Alice what's wrong?" I said walking back the few steps to her. Alice just shook her head, a curious look of dread, anger, and determination flooded across her perfect face, "Alice?...Alice!, Alice answer me. Is it Bella?" I was starting to be come frightened. Every possibility of what could possibly happen began flooding my mind. A wave of, what I could only assume as nausea, began to wash through me as Alice looked at me and nodded,

"She's disappeared...I can't see her, I can't see. Edward..." Her eyes searched mine and I read my sister's thoughts carefully. Then, Jacob Black moved to the very top of my hit list.


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella's POV**

--

The morning wore on without anything happening, yet I had the feeling that, at any moment, something was going to occur. Charlie had left at six a.m. sharp; I knew because I had been awake. Images of Jacob glaring at me, the harsh words that he had said, were etched in my mind and would not leave me alone even to sleep, so, I had stayed awake by zoning out mostly. I had tried for hours to decipher the reasoning behind Jacob's choice, hurtful words but came up empty handed in the end. I hadn't cried though, and I didn't know why. It seemed odd to me that the harsh words such as "bloodsucker" and phrases like "they're never coming back!" hadn't cut me to the core. They stung alright, but everything anyone said to me stung nowadays. I needed answers from Jacob, apologies for how he had made me feel. What shocked me was how scared I had been. Staring into Jacob's eyes on that hillside had been like staring into the eyes of a complete stranger.

After I had heard Charlie leave for his fishing trip with Billy I wandered downstairs. I sat at the kitchen table for hours staring out into the lightening sky. I knew that the sun would never break through the clouds and I thought how this would be a perfect vampire day but that I would probably never have another vampire day. The clouds continued to roll in blanketing all of Forks in a pre-storm haze as the morning fog lifted leaving the grass of the backyard visibly dew covered. My eyes burned with lack of sleep as I stared intently at the clock on the microwave. I had been watching the neon green digital display flicker through numbers as the minutes marched on through my uneventful morning. At some point I had apparently gotten a bowl of cereal because I sat, obliterating a helpless mass of shredded wheat. The only sound that accompanied my even breathing was the occasional clink of the spoon against the bowl as I contorted my cereal glob this way and that, I had no intentions of eating, that would have taken too much energy. I had decided that my glob now resembled a Tyrannosaurus Rex when the phone rang. It succeeded in making three things happen: me jumping a mile, my cereal bowl crashing to the floor ruining my dinosaur, and waking me up. I hurried to the phone simply to make the ringing stop,

"Hello?" I asked in a rushed tone. The voice on the other end made me jump once again,

"Bella? Hey it's Jacob." Jacob's voice sounded almost as rushed as mine had. I didn't know how to respond. Part of me was still angry with him over what he had done to me but the other half of me wanted answers. I decided to split the two emotions into some sort of angry/determined voice,

"What can I do for you Jake?" I asked. My hand automatically went to my hip as I held the receiver firmly to my ear. I had no intentions of missing anything Jacob had to say for fear I would miss an explanation or an apology,

"Bella I called to...apologize for my actions on the hillside the other day. It was wrong of me to shout the way I did, there is no excuse for the way I must have frightened you. Please forgive me." There, I had my apology, but then why did it feel so strange? Jake's apology didn't sound like him at all, it sounded like something that Edward or Carlisle would have said. Honestly, Jake's tone of voice and choice of words stunned me.

"Sure Jake...not a problem." Was all I could manage to get out. Should I accept his apology? It didn't matter whether I should or not, I had already accepted it. I did still have questions that I needed answered though and I was determined,

"Jake, I need to ask you about what happened. Can you answer some questions for me?" I asked relaxing a bit. There was a short pause on the other end,

"Sure Bella, why don't you come over? We can talk and hang out some since both our dads are gone for awhile. It'd be fun." Jacob's tone had become slightly more relaxed and I was beginning to think that I had over analyzed his apology. I stared at the clock, I thought it was extremely early to be going to Jake's but I was absolutely shocked to find that it was already close to noon. I thought for a moment about what Edward would say to my going to La Push. Maybe thought wasn't the right word, reflect may be the better choice. He would not be happy but why did I suddenly care? I had gone to La Push several times since Edward had left.

"Let me shower then I'll be over. Is that alright?" I asked. I thought I heard Jake gulp on the other end but pushed that idea from my head. I waited for him to speak,

"Of course. I'll be waiting." The phone on the other end disconnected,

"Jake? Jake? Hmm." I shrugged my shoulders and hung up my receiver. I took one last look out at the darkening sky. I could tell a storm would be rolling into Forks at some point in time but I was confident that I could get to La Push, and possibly back, before it hit. I tore my eyes away from the window and headed upstairs to get ready.

"If she's just going to visit I don't see what the big deal is." My sister followed closely behind me. I didn't like that she had seen Bella go to La Push but not come out. I knew that Alice couldn't see the wolves and that was unsettling enough I didn't need my Bella to be added to the mix. My Bella, I wished with all my being that I could call her that to her face once again. I grit my teeth hard thinking of Jacob Black.

"Why do you think I'm not sprinting as fast as I can go Alice?" I turned my head slightly to glance at my dear sister. "We were on our way to Forks anyway, this just adds a little incentive. We're almost close enough that I can hear the dog's thoughts. Again, if she's perfectly happy mingling her fate with the wolves then...I guess we can leave it at that. Though I don't like it, it's not like I can do one fucking thing about it." I practically growled. Alice stopped in her tracks and I turned to stare at her. The emotions that I saw there were shocking; she looked at me with an odd mixture of the deepest sadness, curiosity, anger, and pity,

"What is it Alice?" I asked with a sigh. She shook her tiny head just a fragment of an inch but I caught the movement,

"I'm just sorry you're so hurt." She replied. "I feel as if I should have seen everything coming but I saw nothing. If I could have seen at least a fraction of Jasper's intentions before it happened then..." She peered up at me and I knew in an instant that, if she had the ability to cry, tears would have filled her amber eyes. "Then maybe we would all be happy." I stared at my sister for a moment. Her inner turmoil must rage on like the strongest sea storm yet she never seemed to waver, until now. Her power was indeed the strongest yet the most damning and that fact had never been truer than the evening of Bella's birthday. Alice's thoughts raced on and on with thoughts of how she could have made such a difference; taken Jasper away for awhile, anything, to stop this from happening. I put my stony hands on my sister's stony shoulders and offered her a weak smile,

"You never asked for the power that you possess. You are truly kind and generous in the ways that you choose to use it. If the strongest of men were given the ability to foresee war there are few who would do anything to prevent it. You are remarkable." I told her. Alice then hugged me tightly while she sobbed great, tearless sobs into my shirt.

My truck rumbled to a stop in front of Jacob's house at about two-thirty in the afternoon. I had taken a longer time in the shower than usual in order to sort out my thoughts and decide on a way to ask Jacob the questions that I needed answered.. He was standing, well towering is more like it, on his front porch.

"Hey Jake!" I called as I bounced over to him. Though our last encounter had been somewhat unsavory I was determined to repair our friendship the best that I could. He offered me a nice grin and I relaxed somewhat.

"What do you want to do?" He asked stepping off the small porch and moving towards me. I shrugged looking up at the sky. The clouds seemed to be moving faster, threatening to open up.

"How about a walk?" Jacob offered. He was closer to me than I thought he was and I jumped slightly at his voice in my ear.

"Sure." I said giving him a small smile. He began walking towards the woods and I took that as a sign that I was supposed to follow. We walked quite a bit into the dense trees of the green forest. Always green, even during the darkest of days the trees and leaves still shown vibrant green. Jacob finally halted and sat himself down on a stump. He looked at me, giving me his full attention.

"So you said you had some questions for me Bells? What can I do for you?" He smiled at me but the smile was all wrong. That threw me off and I became a bit nervous,

"Well I, I want to know why you...why you said the things you did. Why did you call them bloodsuckers? Why were you so, so cold?" I stammered. Jake stared at the ground for a long moment, then his eyes found mine again and I instantly regretted ever driving to La Push. They were the same cold, hard eyes that had bore into me on the hillside,

"That's what they are." Jacob said harshly. I held my ground firmly. Edward was no longer here that was true, but that didn't mean that just anyone could say those hurtful words about his family,

"That's not fair Jake! The Cullens aren't...they aren't...like that." Jacob laughed, but it wasn't a kind laugh. It was filled with malice,

"Don't give me that Bella. I know, I know everything about the Cullens. More than you think." He was still sitting, staring at me as I stood no more than three feet from him.

"You can't honestly believe..." Jake cut me off as he stood up,

"I love you." He said. I was shocked and a little sickened. I saw Jacob Black as a friend and nothing more and, as far as I knew, his feelings were the same,

"...What did you say?" I stammered slightly. Jacob walked forward pulling what I recognized instantly as my journal from behind his back. He must have been hiding it under his shirt because I knew it hadn't been there while we were walking, "Where did you get that?" I breathed.

"I miss the feeling of security, and new love. Things that I had never felt before I met him. I only wish that he would come back. To kiss me again, to hold my hand, I don't care how icy it feels. I only want him back. To feel someone care for me that greatly again would make me happy." Jacob read straight from the last entry that I had written. "I got it from your nightstand Bella. You couldn't let yourself hope that it was Edward watching but could you let yourself hope that it was me?" He asked bitterly. I took a few cautionary steps back. I was beginning to feel frightened,

"Jake I, I don't feel that way for you. I love Edward. I-, I'm sorry." I tried to sound as calm as I could. Jacob yelled and rounded on me,

"How can you love someone as cold as him?! I can give you everything you want. I can be the one to make you feel secure, and hold your hand, and...and kiss you." He leaned into me and all of a sudden I felt a rush of warmth against me. Not the good kind of warmth one longs for on cold winter days but an intense, claustrophobic heat as Jacob mashed his eager lips against mine. I tried to shove him off but he persisted.

In an instant I was on the ground with Jacob crushing me. I finally managed to shove him away fast enough to scream,

"STOP! I don't want you Jake!" I shouted. He looked at me stunned,

"You'd rather be cold than warm?!" He boomed at me as he still held me down. I felt the bones in my arms bending to the point of snapping.

"I'd rather be loved than forced!" I screamed back. Jacob's eyes were wild and unknown. It was like he was lost in some sort of alternate reality where he lost all forms of his identity.

"I can make you feel happy." I heard my t-shirt rip and felt a rush of cold wind against my now bare stomach. I shut my eyes tightly as tears began to fill my eyes. I attempted to kick upwards into Jacob's stomach but he had me pinned to the cold ground.

"Stop it Jacob! Please, think about what you're doing! You don't want to do this! You aren't yourself!" I knew Jacob would never go through with what he was going to try. And I held on to that small hope as held me trying to get me to look at him. My body would have bruises wherever his hands had touched me. His hands were rough and hot, not soft and cold as Edward's were. His breath was ragged and terrifying. He stared at me, his eyes still cold and hard. Not Jacob, this wasn't Jacob.

"Tell me you love me." He said, "Tell me you love me and not him! He won't return for you! Not now, especially not after this, you're ruined for him! He's gone Bella! He's gone for good and you will never see him again! Now tell me you love me!" I couldn't tell him the lie that he wanted to hear for I loved his greatest enemy,

"...I can't." I chocked out, "I love Edward." I knew I had burned him to the core with my harsh words. I could never deny Jacob the truth nor could I ever deny that I loved Edward with every ounce of my soul. I would never love Jacob Black the way that he longed for me to love him, as more than just a brother, "No matter what you do...I will never love you as I love him." I told him. Jacob roared and his entire frame began to shake,

"Bella..." he croaked, "Run." With that I felt an enormous relief as I was suddenly free to move. I then realized that I would need every bit of that freedom to run as fast as I could from the enormous wolf that stood not twenty feet from me.

I got to my feet with a rush of pure adrenaline. The wolf inched closer, teeth bared, eyes wild. I knew that I would never be able to outrun such a creature but I could hope. With that hope in mind I took off sprinting. The pain in my legs was excruciating as I carried myself to my truck. The wolf, who I assumed to be Jacob, lunged at me and I crashed hard to the ground.

"Jacob stop!" I screamed. I managed to kick him in the snout which managed to disorient him momentarily but piss him off in the long run. He laid a paw on my chest and snapped his jaws just inches from my face. The image was straight out of my nightmares,

"Edward please help!" I cried. He would never hear me I realized but it was a last effort to save my life and if I was going to die right then and there I would want his name to be the last one that I said.. Just as Jacob was about to snap my neck his head shot up. In an instant he stared into my eyes with a terrified look of fear and regret. He then turned and sprinted back off into the woods.

I sat on the hard earth for a moment before I realized he would not be returning. Then, with last ounce of my energy, I sprinted to my truck and drove as fast as I could home.

I made it as far as the first step of the staircase before I collapsed in a heap of hysterical sobs. I couldn't believe what had just happened to me. I wrapped my own arms about me as I sat in the empty house with no sound but my own cries to comfort me. The bruises on my arms were already forming and I could feel at least three broken ribs as I cradled myself. Jacob had morphed into something unknown back in the woods and not just in the physical sense. He loved me more than I could ever love him and I blamed myself for that. Edward was gone and Jacob was prepared to give me everything I wanted or so he thought. He could never give me the sense of family I felt with the Cullens, and he could never give me Edward.

I managed to pull myself upstairs and into the bathroom. I glanced in the mirror at my tear stained face. I had a large bruise on the side of my cheek from where I had hit the ground and several bruises on my chest. That was as far as Jacob had gotten before he lost control and morphed into the wolf. I was thankful, at least, for that much. I still sobbed loudly as I turned on the shower as hot as it would go. The hot water burned as it hit my open cuts but I didn't care. Everything burned. My heart burned, my soul, every ounce of my skin. Jacob's words burned as much as the physical blows I had taken,

"Especially not after this, you're ruined for him..." he had said. This was true. Edward would never take me now, not after I had been kissed by another man. Jacob was right, in the course of an hour I had lost my chances of ever seeing Edward's face again. Not that there had been much of a chance in the first place. I sobbed even louder as this realization hit. How could I expect to ever see Edward again? I couldn't, not now. Somehow he would know what happened between Jacob and I, about him kissing me and Edward would find me repulsive. I thought back to Edward's words, "Well I wasn't going to live without you." He had told me. But then he had left, he had broken that promise to never leave me. He had also made me promise to take care of myself after he left. My mind raced as the hot water beat down on me. Then, I realized, I would break my promise to him. I did not want to live without him.

**Edward's POV**

--

I could tell we were getting closer to where I could start reading Jacob's thoughts because fragments of unimportant conversations began to filter through my mind. Alice had composed herself and was back to dancing about behind me. It was difficult to hone in on Jacob Black's thoughts, it was like tuning a radio station between the fuzziness and the actual music,

"Alice we're getting close. Is there anyway you can check up on Bella's future for me?" I asked behind my shoulder. Finally the dog's thoughts were as clear as day. I stopped dead in my tracks at what I saw in his mind. My knees gave out and hit the forest floor with a crash as I gasped for air I didn't need. Suddenly, I heard Alice scream from behind me and I whirled around to stare into my sister's terrified gaze. My eyes widened as I quickly scanned her thoughts,

"Run!" Was all she shouted to my retreating figure as I sprinted as quickly as my legs could carry me towards town as thunder crashed in the sky above me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bella's POV**

--

My room seemed so much bigger as I stood in the middle of it. I noticed much more as my eyes fell on small details of my surroundings. My heart slammed in my chest as I forced air in and out of my lungs; I was nervous, that much was obvious. The decision wasn't easy, nor was it all that difficult, in fact, it was quite easy to imagine a world without the pain that I felt, and that's what made that world so much more appealing. Nevertheless, I was nervous, and it showed as the bottle of medicine I held rattled in my shaking hand. I had thought of Charlie in my equation and decided that I would go about this the right way, if such a way existed, it was the least I could do. I wouldn't go out in any dramatic fashion; I would close my eyes, think of Edward, and drift to sleep without a sound. Edward, I had never missed him as much as I did in this moment as my mind continued playing my last encounter with my estranged vampire love: "Bella, I don't want you to come with me." his icy voice echoed hauntingly in my ear. Over and over each syllable pounded that much pain into my heart, and that much certainty into my mind, that the decision I had made was the right one. If Edward didn't want me to come with him that badly then, this way, he would never have to worry about stumbling upon me again. My own breath caught in my throat as I stifled a cry and the sound of my voice startled me. I hadn't hear anything except my own thoughts for what seemed like an eternity after I had exited the shower. In the harsh light of the bathroom the bruises and scrapes on my arms seemed to be highlighted as if saying "Look how you were defeated a second time by a man you trusted." I had trusted Jacob but he was no man. Edward was a man trapped eternally as a seventeen year old, his mind was ever expanding to accommodate the knowledge he learned year after year; he still made mistakes but he was more of a man then anyone would ever see him as. Jacob, however, was a boy trying to survive as a boy, he was still learning right from wrong for the first time around and, apparently, still had some kinks to work out.

Every limb on my body ached as my fingertips traced the timeline of the day that had been left on my arms. My chest had been worse; covered in scrapes that burned with an unbearable intensity as I tried to clean up the best I could with my strawberry body wash. I turned towards the mirror as my fingertips found their way to my face. The large bruise on my cheek, from where I had hit the ground, seemed to have gotten bigger since the accident. Accident, that's what I was calling it, I wanted it to be an accident, I didn't want to believe that Jacob would have done those things intentionally, but something told me I couldn't be certain of what Jacob Black would, or wouldn't, do. I let my hand drop to my side as if in defeat. It would all be over soon, this pitiful existence. I would leave this shell of a bruised, battered, body behind and be free. At least I hoped that was what waited for me. It frightened me, a little, that I hadn't a single idea about what awaited me on the other side, but I knew that I wouldn't live in fear, or sadness, any longer. I worried about Charlie and Renee, but I decided that this one time, I needed to be selfish. Jacob had cut me down just when I was beginning to feel like I could start growing back up, making me feel less desirable then I had before. As he held me down, his hot breath on my face, I had finally realized that I was defeated. There would be no way that Edward would ever take me back after Jacob's hands had been all over me. His hot lips on mine had sealed my fate right then and there. Picking up a small glass of water off my dresser I stared at the pill bottle in my hand. Then, I took one final look in the mirror as thunder and lightening crashed outside illuminating my pale features momentarily; the rain was a comforting sound, white noise of sorts as I tried to numb my mind for the choice I had made. I shut my eyes tightly as I could as I envisioned a time when everything was perfect, in the meadow...

**Edward's POV**

--

My legs couldn't carry me fast enough as I sped into Forks. I didn't care who saw me, the Volturi could deal with me later, after I got to Bella, after...I couldn't let myself think that I was too late. Thankfully not a soul was visible on the street as the dark clouds above opened up and a torrential downpour began to cover the hot sidewalks causing steam to rise up. I fought to go faster than was even possible for a vampire and I knew with each step that I wasn't at Bella's the less chance I had to find her alive. I resisted the urge to break the treaty and cross werewolf lines to kill Jacob Black right that second, but I had to get to Bella first. The dog would be dealt with properly soon. Filthy mongrel, his own fleas should be ashamed for what he did. A deep growl rumbled in my chest as I began to edge closer and closer to my destination.

"You...don't...want me?" Her voice had been so weak, so small, so believing. How stupid could I have been? She had believe every word I had said how could I have just walked away? I shook the image from my mind. I had to concentrate, I had to go faster,

"GO!" I shouted aloud to only myself. Suddenly, Alice's thoughts invaded my mind 'Get to her now Edward. Go! The rest of our family wasn't too far behind us in the forest. I've rounded them up and we'll meet you at our house, our home, in Forks. Where we belong. Hurry brother! Run!' Alice encouraged me to go faster. I could feel the sobs tearing at my chest as I feared I was too late,

"BELLA!" I shouted into the night, but my shouts were drowned out by thunder. I saw the Swan residence in front of me, the light was on in Bella's room and I thought I could make out her small frame in the shadows by the window.

Fear ripped through me as my feet found their front porch. I didn't care how Charlie would react, I simply tore the front door from it's hinges as I flew threw the foyer. I heard it clatter loudly as it crashed to the floor and I flew up the stairs two at a time. I didn't blink, I didn't think, as Bella's bedroom door met a similar fate as the front door had. I threw the door behind me and rushed into the small bedroom,

"NO!" I roared as I crossed the room in a flash. I ripped the pill bottle from her shaking hand and whipped it across the room, the glass followed shattering against the far wall. She was still standing, staring at me, her face shocked and terrified. "How many did you take?!" I asked seizing her by the shoulders, "Bella answer me!" I demanded. She merely shook her small head, "You didn't take any?!" I asked, making sure I understood what she was telling me,

"...No." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. I looked into her deep brown eyes as I still held her shoulders firmly. Her eyes, at first, were void of any light, then, they changed in an instant as she looked at me. They brightened with hope as she realized that I wasn't a mirage,"...real, you're real." She choked out. She gazed at me like I was the most wonderful thing that she had ever seen, instead of the monster that I truly was, "Edward..." her voice cracked with emotion,

"Don't you dare do anything like that ever again! Do you..." my voice began to crack as I slowly came to realization that she would be fine, "do you...understand?" and with that ,I began to sob. I crushed her small frame to my chest and slowly sank to the floor in front of her window.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I repeated over and over as I smoothed her hair. I relished in the feel of her skin on mine once again, such a simple pleasure that I had missed so much. She sobbed too, and a feeling of relief washed over me when she fiercely clung to me instead of running away in fear or anger.

We sat like that for a long while, hours I believe. I hadn't been too late, I had gone fast enough, I had made it. But I couldn't help but think that there would have been no need for two broken doors if I had stayed in the first place. I looked down at the beauty in my arms and, for the first time, noticed the extensive bruise and cuts that covered her small arms. If I hadn't have left, there would be no such marks,

"I'm sorry..." I whispered again. She looked up at me, she was tired, but relieved that I was back. I didn't have to read her mind to be able to read what was written all over her face. She was crushed by what Jacob had done, how he had betrayed her, "We'll find a way to fix this." I told her, "You have my promise, and trust me, I will never break another promise to you." She nodded,

"I'm so tired, and sore." She admitted to me, "It hurt Edward, all of it, every day since you left. But when Jacob did what he did, it hurt in a different way and I don't just mean physical. Somehow it seemed to, confirm the fact that you would never be returning. I thought there would be no way that you would want me after he kissed me." A growl erupted from my throat,

"Bella, I love you." That sounded fantastic, "I love you so much and no matter what that will never change. If Jacob had been what you wanted then..." I didn't want to even finish that thought. I hugged Bella little tighter and she let out a yelp. I released her instantly,

"He hurt me badly Edward. Every part of me. I want Carlisle to look at me, I think I may have a few broken ribs...or something." Bella looked at me with pleading eyes,

"I promise you, we'll make this right. When does Charlie get back?" I asked her,

"A couple weeks, he's gone for a long fishing trip." Her chin began to tremble, "Don't make me stay here alone Edward." Her voice broke and she sobbed loudly into my chest,

"Why would I ever leave you alone ever again? Hmm? Why would I do that? You will not be out of my sight ever again okay?" I rubbed her back to slow her sobs before she hyperventilated,

"I just can't believe you're back...you're really back with me. You won't leave again." It wasn't a question, it was a statement and that made me happy. At that moment the phone rang, it startled both of us and I quickly grabbed the cordless phone that sat on the dresser and handed it to Bella,

"Hello?" She asked, the voice on the other end startled her and she quickly dropped the phone.

"Who was it?" I asked as I stood by her side. She turned to me and I knew instantly who had been the voice on the other end of the phone. I clenched my jaw, "We'll make it right." I reassured her once more. She looked so frail and damaged standing next to me yet, in that instant, I had never seen anything more beautiful in my entire existence.

"Can we go now?" Her voice brought me out of my reverie, "That is, if everyone is here...are they here or are they still...away?" She asked. I chanced a small smile,

"They are all back home. Also, they are all very anxious to see you." Emmett was anxious for other things as I read his thoughts of what he would like to do in regards to controlling the wolf population. "Of course we can go. Would you like to take anything with you?" I asked looking around her bedroom,

"No, nothing. I just want to leave. I want to be with my family." She walked ahead of me and down the stairs. I followed and swiftly reattached the front door so as not the alarm the neighbors. Bella's door could wait for another day,

"Can you hang on or would you like for me to carry you?" I asked her once we were out into the street. I didn't wait for an answer as I scooped Bella up into my arms. I took off running towards home with Bella clutched against my chest. I reached the front lawn and saw my entire family waiting on the front porch, a sense of complete relief instantly washed through me as I climbed the steps to the front porch, I wasn't sure if it was due to Jasper or something else and, in that instant, I didn't care.

"Are we home?" Bella mumbled in her exhausted state. I carried her inside and set her down gently on the couch. Esme quietly retrieved a blanket and covered her. I smiled at my love as she began to drift to sleep,

"Yes, we're home." I told her as I smoothed my hand over her back,

"Good. Don't ever make me leave okay?" She asked in a sleepy voice. I chuckled slightly at her request,

"I would never make you leave." I kissed her cheek softly reveling in the feeling of her soft skin against my cool lips. Carlisle appeared by my side,

"I'll examine her when she wakes up if that's what she wants but for now, it's best to let her sleep son." I nodded at my father's kind words. It could wait, getting Bella bandaged up and deciding what to do about Jacob Black could all wait...


	7. Chapter 7

Edward's POV

I watched her sleep, my Bella. Finally, once again, I was able to call her that. I hoped that she was deep enough asleep so that dreams wouldn't chase after her. I knew she had experienced something so awfully traumatizing that it shook her very core and, if the reality of this world no longer provided her with a sense of security, I at least wanted her to feel safe in her dreams. I sat on the floor beside the couch as close to Bella as I could get without waking her. I would occasionally push a strand of her hair away from her face but she never did stir; if I wasn't able to hear her heartbeat I wouldn't have been too sure if she were alive or not. I leaned with my chin resting on the cushion when I heard Esme approach me,

"Edward, darling?" She whispered. Her thoughts were moving too rapidly for me to decipher what she was going to decide to ask me,

"Yes?" I murmured in response never taking my eyes off my sleeping Bella. My mother crouched down beside me and pushed a strand of my own messy hair back into place, I couldn't help but smile slightly at this maternal gesture. She rested a cool hand on my back and spoke softly to me,

"Don't you think we should discuss what our plan of action should be? In regards to…what has happened? We can speak in the kitchen, as a family." My mother looked at me with deep concern. I had explained everything that had happened, as far as I knew,

"I promised I would never leave her again." I said finally turning to look at Esme, "And I intend to never break another promise to her as long as we both exist.",

"Sweetheart were just going to be in the kitchen, it'll be fine I promise." She attempted to reassure me but I was hesitant to leave Bella's side. I knew I was probably being overprotective but at this moment I could care less how I seemed to the others. I saw Alice approach us, her small arms folded over her chest,

"She'll be fine, we'll be done talking before she wakes up…trust me." A small smile crept across my sister's face and I knew that she was correct. I placed a gentle kiss on Bella's soft cheek, once again she didn't stir. I sprung to my feet and followed my mother and sister into the kitchen where the rest of our family were already seated at the dining room table.

We rarely used the table, unless Bella was eating, or we had to have a family meeting about new rules concerning no football in the house or, unfortunately, instances like this one. I took my seat and stared at the rest of my siblings and my parents. Emmett sat beside Rosalie and continuously glanced in Bella's direction, his thoughts consisted of concern for her and eagerness to deplete the werewolf populace. Rosalie's thoughts completely shocked me, though she stared at the table and never at me she generally was concerned for Bella's well being; I deduced that it had something to do with Rosalie's past but decided that it was best not to bring a thing like that up. Alice's mind was an interesting one, typically it was filled with songs and pleasant images of the future but, at this moment in time, Alice was deeply focused on finding a way to fix what had happened. She was terribly upset and angry at the same time, 'I'm sorry Edward' she said in her mind as our eyes locked. I gave her a look as if to say 'You have nothing to apologize for' she broke eye contact with me and proceeded to, in her mind, swear at the wolves; terrible words appeared in my sister's thoughts and I was glad Esme didn't possess the power to read minds. I turned my attention to Jasper who, of course, was feverishly blaming himself. I caught my brother's attention and shook my head slightly, "Don't" I mouthed, inaudibly, to him. He bit his lip and looked away, ' I'm sorry but I can't help it.' he told me through his thoughts. There was no reason for Jasper to blame himself, after all, our family was a rarity in the vampire world. Jasper was too hard on himself for what had happened on Bella's fateful birthday, his actions had set him back mentally in terms of viewing himself as more than a monster; Jasper was no monster and as I peered into my brother's sorrow filled face I wished I had the power to calm him down.

I stared into my father's eyes as he offered me a quick nod, then, he began to speak,

"Well, I'm sure you're all aware of what has happened to Bella. It's an unfortunate matter and one that requires our immediate attention. Edward isn't the only one that loves and cares for her. Is everyone for taking action?" Carlisle began around the circle by look at me,

"Of course." I said,

"Are you kidding me? We have to get to the bottom of this now." Alice said clenching her jaw tightly.

"Anything to fix this." Jasper replied.

"Yes." Rosalie said barely above a whisper, her eyes still glued on the table,

"Let's kick some werewolf ass!" Emmett cheered. Carlisle couldn't help but chuckle.

"Whatever it takes." Esme offered. Carlisle nodded and took an unneeded breath,

"Now, we must decide how to handle such an…attack. Edward, I know it- it's a sore subject son but…did he?" Carlisle didn't have to finish the sentence for me to know what he meant,

"Almost…something stopped him…I'm not sure what. But according to what little Bella told me he was in wolf form and something…stopped him from continuing. I don't know if someone told him to stop it or if he came to his senses…something told me it was not the latter." I scoffed. Jacob Black had always been on my watch list, the way he thought about Bella made my stomach churn but I never imagined that the boy would go to such heights to make her his own. The mongrel was now at the very top of my hit list.

"I suppose it would be wise to arrange a meeting with the wolves, or with just Jacob--" I couldn't help but cut my father off. I felt the growl build in my throat before it exploded,

"Arrange a meeting?! This shouldn't be dealt with like a meeting between two cell phone companies! They broke the treaty! We go after them!" I didn't realize I was shouting until Alice sent me a stern look. I attempted to calm myself down but it was no use. I was shaking and my mind was flashing images of Bella hurt nonstop. I looked at my family who held nothing but concern in their eyes,

"Edward, I know that to us, Bella is family and family is protected under the treaty but…I don't know if the wolves will see it as such. It's a difficult situation that must be handled with care." Esme spoke softly to me but it did nothing to calm me down. Carlisle looked from his wife to me and decided it was best for him to try his hand at reasoning with me,

"Look, Edward, if it were up to me Jacob Black would be punished. As far as I'm concerned Bella is your wife and in a way my daughter. It is common knowledge that you do not mess with a member of the Cullen family without experiencing some serious repercussions. If this were any other werewolf, or any other vampire then it would all ready be over and done with and Emmett would no longer be hungry." I heard a familiar growl from Emmett's direction, "But as it stands this isn't just a normal encroachment on our territory or our family and I'm afraid that if we did just attack then, well, they would come at us." Carlisle finished,

"Then we hit back! Come on, were Cullens!" Emmett cheered,

"Yeah, the only thing that has ever gotten in our way were those clowns at the school carnival!" Alice chimed in,

"Shut up! Those were scary fuckers!" Emmett replied,

"Emmett watch your mouth." Esme scolded. Carlisle sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, that must be who I got that from,

"Children, calm down, please." Everyone turned their attention back to Carlisle. Jasper had been fairly silent throughout the whole ordeal and Rose had been downright detached from the situation, "I think it's best if we send someone to the treaty line to see what we can make of the situation." Carlisle's eyes scanned the table,

"I'll go." Jasper raised his hand, and his voice for the first time since we sat down. I stared at my brother "It's my fault Bella's like this Edward, I'm going and I'm going alone." Though I disagreed with my brother on the point that it was entirely his fault I nodded anyway,

"Jasper!" Alice was shocked but instantly calmed, "Oh, you'll be fine..it'll be okay. I see." She laid her petite head on Jasper's shoulder and sighed. Carlisle's eyes shifted from Jasper to me,

"Is this alright Edward...or would you like to accompany your brother?" Carlisle looked at me in a peculiar fashion. Almost as if he were pleading with my to go with Jasper. I couldn't figure out why but I certainly knew my answer,

"Only if Bella would want me to. Otherwise, I'm sorry Jasper but...I won't be able to leave her side." My brother nodded at me without saying a word and, I knew, he understood. Carlisle looked at Alice as if she knew the answer,

"She'll allow it...she doesn't want Japser to go alone." She smiled at our father who returned it with a small grin,

"Alright then, that about wraps it up. Esme, dear, do you have anything to say?" Carlisle turned to our mother who sighed. She never liked to see us go off to where she couldn't see. Though she knew we were perfectly capable of fending for ourselves she knew there was always that slim chance that we wouldn't return, and it frightened her to her core,

"Be careful boys. For me, for your wife, for you love." She looked at Jasper and me in turn, "Don't try to start anything. Please. I know your boys but...try to contain yourselves." Carlisle patted Esme on the hand and with that he began to stand up,

"One more thing." I said turning my eyes towards my father. Carlisle stopped and gave me his full attention,

"Yes Edward?" He asked,

"Jacob Black cut Bella to the core. He bruised her, cut her, and broke her. He damaged her possibly beyond repair. That disgusting mutt drove her to the point of suicide. I want him punished. I want him destroyed." I was standing now and my father knew I meant business,

"You don't mess with Cullens." He replied. Emmett chimed in,

"What happens if the wolves don't want to talk at all? What if they refuse to see Jasper and Edward?" With his question I saw Alice turn her attention towards Rosalie with a quizzical expression. Rosalie got up from her seat at the table and determinedly walked into the living room. She knelt beside Bella and very gently examined the extent of damage done to one of Bella's arms, then she smoothed her hand over Bella's battered face. Rosalie the did something I would have never believed if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes; she placed a small, icy, kiss on Bella's forehead. With that, she turned towards the stares,

"They broke the treaty!...We fight!" She shouted back down to us.

"I do care Edward. Deeply I do." My sister told me through her thoughts. In that instant, I was never more proud to call Rosalie family.


	8. Chapter 8

Bella's POV

--

It was difficult to let Edward go so soon after I had just gotten him back. I understood though, completely, Edward's reasoning behind going with Jasper to talk with Jacob. I also understood the reasoning behind Edward's willingness to "talk" with Jacob instead of just killing him right off the bat. He knew I would worry not so much about Jacob, because whatever feelings I may have harbored for the werewolf disappeared the day in the woods, but I would worry myself sick if I knew Edward was on his way to La Push with the full intention of breaking the treaty. If that were the case, Edward would have never been allowed to leave the house.

But Edward and Jasper had left. I was glad that neither of them had departed on their own, I would never have let Jasper go without some sort of backup. He was a vampire, and a very strong one at that, but I didn't care how tough Jasper was, I had no idea how many wolves were going to show up at the "meeting" and I had no intention of sending Jasper off on his own. The same went for Edward with one added detail: if Jasper went with Edward there was less of a chance Edward would lose his cool and break the treaty. Jasper had given me a nod as he and Edward had left the house. A nod as if to say "don't worry, I'll take care of him." I had guessed Jasper could sense the worry rolling off of me and thick waves and I had mouthed a silent "thank you" in response.

And now I sat, cross-legged, on the Cullens' plush couch staring hopefully out the window. Alice was perched on the chair beside me her eyes closed deep in thought. She was obviously waiting for Jasper and Edward to come back into her sight. She said she was almost positive they would come back safe but, like all of Alice's visions, the future could change. The only sound in the Cullen household was Emmett's occasional sigh. He had wanted to go along with his brothers but the decision had been made that Emmett would be too intimidating for the wolves at this point in time. It obviously made Emmett nervous to be away from his "little brothers" for a long period of time; especially when Alice couldn't see the outcome of the situation. Emmett let out another long sigh which snapped me out of my reverie,

"Emmett, if you sigh one more time I'm going to kill you." I said quietly to him. Emmett paused, then let out a booming laugh,

"Bella, A) I'm already dead…kind of. B) You can't kick my ass, I'm a vampire and you aren't." He smiled at me and I didn't even realize the impact of the next words to come out of my mouth,

"You just wait until I'm a vampire." I almost whispered. His smile faded and his eyes looked questioningly at me. I looked at him with all the determination I could muster, the idea of being strong, and being with Edward forever, had certainly crossed my mind.

"Bella?" Emmett asked still giving me a strange look,

"You just wait." I repeated, and focused my line of vision back out the giant window. I saw Emmett nod in my direction and go back to his waiting. I chanced one glance at Alice, a small smirk played across her face, she had obviously heard my unintentional outburst.

Edward's POV

I looked at my brother, his eyes were focused ahead as we ran to La Push. It was a short run but it seemed like it took an eternity to get to the meeting point that we had quickly arranged. It hadn't taken much to convince the wolves that we wanted to meet with Jacob. Aside from the shock that I had returned, along with the rest of my family, my "eagerness" to check up on all that had happened while I was away plus a fabricated story concerning Victoria and Bella's safety was enough to get the idiotic mongrel riled up enough to agree to meet with myself and my brother . I also figured that the reality of his actions had finally sunk in and that he was going to go to whatever lengths it took to try and make up for the pain he had caused. Nice try mutt. Jasper and I slowed to a trot as we edged closer to our destination,

"You didn't have to come Jasper. I could have handled the situation on my own." The treaty line broke into sight and Jacob stood towering, waiting for us. A deep snarl broke free from my chest as I glared ahead at the creature who had caused my mate so much pain. My mind was working in a very primal way and it frightened me slightly,

"Yeah, because YOU won't cross the treaty line." My brother said very sarcastically. I shot him a look but was rewarded with a wave of calm, "And you aren't allowed to try and block me either, Bella said." I sighed and focused ahead. Jacob Black looked nervous, good, let him be nervous. Let him fear the vampires,

"Cullen." He nodded towards as we came to a stop right on the line. I intended to be as calm as possible in this discussion; "intended" being the main word,

"Black." I returned the nod. Jacob was even taller than I recalled, he towered a few inches above me and even looked down slightly at my brother. Jacob nervously played with a clod of dirt along the treaty line,

"So why did you ask to meet me? Something about Victoria, is that why you're back?" He asked without making eye contact. This was great, he knew what he had done but he had no idea that I had even the slightest inkling of what had occurred. A small smile began to play across my lips,

"Something like that. Anything happen while I was gone? Anything I need to know about?" I was going to give him a chance to come clean. A chance to prove to me he could admit to what he had done. He glanced up nervously, I could smell the sweat accumulating on his palms. I could smell the sweat, along with the intoxicating smell of Bella mixed with the revolting smell of dog. The bastard, he hadn't even showered; I felt a growl begin to build in my throat but, thanks to Jasper, I didn't allow it to surface. Jacob Black looked at me and shook his head,

"No, nothing happened. Did you catch news of Victoria on your way back into town?" He asked, as nonchalant as if we were discussing the weather, asshole. A small chuckle escaped my lips as I paced slightly in front of the wolf,

"Really, nothing happened?" I could feel my fear escalating quickly. The primal instinct I harbored to protect Bella was building inside me faster than Jasper could control,

"No, nothing happened. What's up Cullen why did you really want to meet me?" He was almost growling now as I continued to pace back and forth. Jasper looked at me, a hint of terror in his face,

"Let me in Edward, don't try and block me, you promised." Jasper said in his thoughts. I looked at my brother, half worried myself,

"I'm not trying to block you." I whispered so that only Jasper could hear. Jacob didn't even notice the small exchange that had happened. The wolf was getting increasingly annoyed with our presence,

"I said nothing happened Edward now why the hell did you want me to come out here?!" He shouted. I stopped,

"So you say nothing happened. Then why the hell did I find Bella in the mere moments before she tried to kill herself? Why did I find her covered in bruises and cuts? Why was she sobbing over and over telling me what you did to her?" I whispered to Jacob in the most menacing voice I was certain any creature on the earth had ever heard. Jacob leapt back with a growl, I felt Jasper instantly closer to my back than he had been a moment before that,

"Bastard. How did you know? Why did she tell you?" Jacob snarled, his eyes flickering back and forth between my brother and myself.

"Why did she tell me? Because she knows I love her! Because she needed to tell someone who would fix it for her!" I began yelling as Jasper attempted to calm me down. It wasn't working, the vampire was beginning to seep through my carefully sculpted façade. The dog let out a booming laugh,

"Love her?! HA! You have the most warped view of love I have ever seen Cullen! You left her, in the woods, sobbing, broken. You left her here and I had to mend the pieces back together! You left because you didn't want her anymore. You knew you could leave at any point in time, go on and live your existence and eventually Bella would wither and die and you would never have to think about her again!" Jacob's words cut through me like the strongest of blades,

"Don't you dare…" I began to snarl,

"Don't I dare what? Tell the truth?! About how you dropped everything and left the greatest thing that ever happened to you?" His words were getting to me and Jasper had no effect on me anymore. The hurt rolling off my body was enough to stop any calm feelings that might have been sent my direction. I knew the mutt was right, in a sense, about me leaving the greatest thing to happen to me; and that, I would never forgive myself for. This argument was escalating quickly and that frightened me, I did not want to break the treaty but wasn't sure if I could stop myself,

"Oh what's a matter? Did I hurt your leech feelings?" Jacob teased. I heard Jasper growl behind me. It was obvious Jasper was more concerned now with protecting me and himself as opposed to stopping me from doing anything foolish. I sensed an ounce of fear in Jacob's voice; it wobbled ever so slightly as if he were trying to psych himself up to say the things he truly wanted to say to us.

"Did she tell you?" Jacob asked as he began to pace along the line, which, in turn, made me begin to pace,

"Tell me what? How you violated her?!" I nearly roared,

"How she begged for it!" Jacob shouted. I twirled around and crouched ready to pounce at such an outburst from the werewolf,

"How dare you.." I snarled low and deep. Jacob merely glared at me through his dark eyes,

"Oh she begged, she begged for my warmth, for my hands. 'Give me what Edward won't…fuck me like Edward never will.' She felt so good Cullen, so soft, so warm. I got to her first…how does that make you feel?" The words struck me like a bolt of lightning to the chest and before I knew what I was doing I had leapt for the treaty line. Jasper leapt for me and stopped me just in time,

"That's not fair Jacob!" Jasper roared as he struggled to put me upright, "Don't listen Edward, it's a lie, you know it." Jasper said in his mind. I brought myself back to a crouch,

"How can you say something like that about her?!" My voice boomed in the woods, reverberating off the trees. Jacob's eyes narrowed in a despicable fashion. I hated him, I loathed him. But I knew, I couldn't kill him. Not today, not now.

"She prefers me." He said simply. This was childish, I wanted to fight him man on man, creature on creature. This trading of childhood "she likes me better" was getting on my nerves. My true vampire was coming through and I wanted nothing more than to rip his throat out and feel his blood on my hands. Then, it all happened so fast. Jasper's words followed by Jacob's retort,

"Then how come, Jacob, the only way you can get Bella to be with you is by practically raping her?! You little fucker." Jasper could no longer control his own emotions, thanks if part, probably to the anger rolling off of me. Jacob glared at Jasper, he was thinking of something horrible, something to get at my brother,

"Answer me this Jasper. How come your little pixie whore of a wife couldn't stop it from happening? Did she just not care or…is she broken?" The sneer was wide on Jacob Black's face, yet he had no idea the damage he just caused his entire tribe with his own words, fool. I frantically turned toward my brother,

"JASPER DON'T!!" I roared as Jasper flung himself at Jacob. Jacob reacted and met Jasper midair. They tumbled to the ground, thankfully, on our side of the line. Primal roars ripped through the jumbled mess of creatures as I joined in hoping to pull Jasper out of the scrap before he could destroy Jacob. This wasn't the time or the place for this, I really had the intention of meeting Jacob to just talk. Everything had escalated so quickly that it was just a big blur of arguments until Jacob had gone too far. Jasper was justified in wanting to defend Alice but this was not the place for revenge. The two were tumbling together, fighting like animals, as I jumped into the mess, Jacob kicked me in my eye as I tried to grab him and I felt a blow to my jaw which didn't phase me in the slightest as I tore Jacob off of my brother and threw the wolf across the line,

"ENOUGH!!" I heard a booming voice behind me as Jacob Black hit a nearby tree but sprung lithely back to his feet. The voice belonged to my father,

"Leeches!" Jacob spat blood from his mouth. We all three glared at each other, chests heaving with air we didn't need as Carlisle came around to look me in the eye. I took a step forward toward the line and Carlisle put a stony hand on my chest

"Edward I said enough!" He shouted at me. I felt as if I were being scolded by the teacher for rough housing on the playground. I heard Jacob laugh,

"Do you have to have your daddy come bail you out of trouble Edward? Can't fight your own fights?" Jacob sneered. Carlisle turned to the werewolf who automatically shrank back,

"You, leave. Tell your family that your actions are cause for war. As far as were concerned, you broke the treaty. The deal is over." Carlisle growled. I managed to bring myself to the treaty line as Carlisle tended to Jasper who was trying to sort out his emotions. Jacob Black glared at me,

"Know this, your life will be mine by the time this is over." I then turned and walked towards my father and brother. Rosalie was right, we would fight.


	9. Chapter 9

Edward's POV

The three of us had been completely silent as we ran back to the house. I couldn't tell who Carlisle was upset with but I had never really seen my father so angry and defensive before and I didn't dare question his actions now. Relief washed through me as our house came into view. It was late in the night now and I knew Bella would be exhausted but still awake awaiting my return. We slowed to a walk as our lit house loomed in front of us and I could see Alice standing, not so patiently, in the doorway. Jasper rushed forward to greet his love and even Alice was surprised at how eager he was to have her in his arms,

"Japser! Your cheek…what did that mongrel do?" Alice growled as Jasper peered at his wife,

"It doesn't matter. I love you Alice, I love you and you are perfect." Jasper buried his face in his wife's hair as he picked her up with no effort. Carlisle and I climbed the steps to our large house interrupting Jasper and Alice's reunion,

"Inside children, now." Carlisle said. I could tell he was trying his best to be gentle with the situation. An eerie feeling swept over me as I took one more glance at the pitch black forest before stepping inside the well lit house,

"Sit." Carlisle demanded as soon as we were inside the living room. He disappeared, I assumed, to get his medical bag. Jasper and I had a few injuries on our faces and our chests from the small fight we had gotten into with Jacob Black. I knew Carlisle was less than pleased with the actions that had taken place but what were Jasper and I supposed to do? Sit back and listen to Jacob Black spew all those hateful remarks about the women we loved?

"Edward!" I heard Bella's melodic voice from the stairs. She was across the room and in my arms so quickly that I almost believed her to be a vampire. I scooped her up easily and held her against me, I longed for the smell of her shampoo and was greatly rewarded to find that her hair smelled just as I had remembered. I made a mental note to thank Alice for quickly stocking our shower with all the necessities Bella would need, "What happened?!" She sounded shocked as she grazed my jaw with the back of her hand. I hadn't gotten a chance to see how bruised my eye and my jaw were but I didn't care, it would all be faded by daybreak.

"It doesn't matter love. It doesn't matter one bit." I told her. And it didn't matter, at all, the extent of my injuries. I was still here and Bella was safe, it had been a small fight between mortal enemies, no one had died, unfortunately, the wolf was still breathing. I sat Bella down beside me on the couch as Jasper and Alice occupied the chair. I was thankful that Carlisle had wrapped her arms, and I assumed her chest and abdomen, in bandages. It was bad enough that I had to see the bruises on her beautiful face, I couldn't stand looking at the marred skin along the rest of her body, it made my skin crawl. Bella looked into my eyes and without having the ability to read her mind I knew what she was longing to ask me,

"No, I didn't cross the line. Jacob is still alive." I told her. She nodded and laid her head against my chest. Esme came into the living room from the kitchen, she gasped when she saw Jasper and I in front of her,

"Carlisle!" She called for our father. Always the worrier, always the mother, Esme protected us with her life. Jasper sighed and gave me a look as if to say 'Mom's, can't live with them, can't live without them.' I chuckled a bit,

"Don't you give me that look Jasper! What did you do?" Esme was gone and back with a wet washcloth before Jasper could even answer.

"Nothing mom, it's not that bad…ouch!" Jasper gave Esme a look as she scrubbed the dirt off his face. Alice clung to Jasper's arm just glad to have him back safe. It was not like Alice to get overly worried about a situation; but when it involved Jasper and the wolves you couldn't really blame her for being uneasy. Emmett and Rosalie joined us all in the living room; Rosalie handed Bella a pillow and patted her on the back,

"Did you kill the dog?" Emmett asked. He had been so anxious for his brother's return that Rosalie had to take him into the kitchen for a game of checkers before he drove Alice and Bella mad with his sighing,

"No. He is still alive. We didn't cross the line, we weren't sure if the treaty still stood on their side or not." I replied. Carlisle arrived back from his office with his bag in hand,

"Do you mind telling me what you two boys intended to do once you crossed the treaty line and were taken down by God knows how many werewolves that were, more than likely, waiting in the darkness?" Carlisle practically growled as he tossed an ice pack to myself and my brother. It shocked me a little, I had rarely heard Carlisle speak harshly to anyone and it was, well, scary. I felt a little hurt at my father's words, he had no clue how much we were provoked before we struck,

"Dad, you have no idea the horrible, awful things that he said about Bella and Alice. The words he used, the way he acted like they were less than human…well, you know what I mean. If he had said anything like that about Mom, you would have lost it too." My father looked me in the eyes as I tried to explain the reasoning behind our actions. It was the truth, and he knew it, his thoughts told me he knew. Carlisle sighed and turned to Bella,

"Bella hold out your arm please, I need to redo your bandages." Bella complied and Carlisle sat in front of the couch as he rewrapped Bella's arm with fresh medicine and bandages,

"Carlisle I don't know fully what is going on here but I know for a fact that I don't want our sons going out by themselves to meet any rabid wolves ever again." Esme sat down beside Alice and Jasper's chair and watched Carlisle closely,

"Esme, they are strong boys, they can take care of themselves they just lost their tempers." Carlisle responded not taking his eyes off of Bella's arm. I saw my mother's eyes shoot up towards our father, they were eyes filled with harsh determination,

"I said no dammit!" She shouted. Jasper and Alice both jumped in their chair and Bella shrank slightly back, I'm pretty sure she would have disappeared completely into the couch if Carlisle hadn't had a firm hold on her arm. Carlisle seemed completely startled and he paused in his work as he turned towards his wife,

"Esme, love?" He asked quietly. My mother swallowed and looked around from child to child before her eyes rested on me and Bella,

"Forgive me for startling you Bella. I didn't mean to shout it's just…" She looked at Carlisle who had abandoned his work on Bella and was now seated nearer to her, "Carlisle these children are…our children. No matter how many years we live, if we live until the sun burns out and the human race crumbles, they are still our children. I don't care who gave birth to them, who changed their diapers, who sang them lullabies, they are our children. We have given them every opportunity they could possibly imagine, we have taught them about love and life and I'll be damned if we lose any one of them. That includes Bella. I will not lose my children because of some ridiculous ancient treaty between two rivals. I am all for destroying Jacob Black for what he did to our daughter but we're Cullens, we fight for our family as a family. That's final." I could have hugged my mother for the rest of eternity for her words. I often forgot how worried she got when we would merely go out to hunt by ourselves, let alone go to meet our mortal enemies. She was my mother, and not just on paper. She had treated emotional wounds on all of us, listened to us talk about everything, and broke up the normal fights that happened between siblings. I smiled as I remembered our first day of public school, it was so awkward for all of us; besides the fact that we weren't used to the social scene of that particular school, or the different cliques, or how the teachers were, we had to resist the urge to eat every one of our classmates. At that time it was only myself, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett; Jasper wasn't allowed to venture too far from the house let alone go to school; it was still hard for all of us to resist human blood in large crowds, now it was a piece of cake, well, for most of us. Alice had come home sobbing because some rude cheerleader had said her hair was stupid, or it might have been her shoes. Either way, Esme had sat on the couch with her for hours, stroking her hair and listening to her every word. She had done the same for me when I first met Bella and my emotions were all over the place.

Carlisle leaned into Esme and whispered a soft 'I love you' in her ear and kissed her cheek,

"I promise you, we will fight together from now on. I will not put our children in danger ever again." Carlisle then quickly finished wrapping Bella's arms,

"Edward, get her to bed; she's dead on her feet." Carlisle told me. I nodded and gently lifted Bella off the couch. Jasper and Alice stood and Jasper crossed the living room to Bella. I looked at my brother questioningly, then I nodded and backed away slightly,

"Bella. I want you to know that, I would protect you with my life. I am truly sorry for the pain I caused you on your birthday, I never felt more like a monster than I did at that moment in time. I will spend the rest of eternity making it up to you." He then hugged her, something I would never have imagined Jasper would be capable of. Bella was stunned, then, she wrapped her tiny arms around my brother,

"It's okay Jasper, thank you. Do me one thing though, please?" She asked,

"Anything." Jasper whispered letting Bella go for fear he would crush her ribs further,

"Never put Alice through anything like that again. I've never seen her so nervous." Bella chuckled softly. Jasper smiled at her and turned to his wife who was watching our mother help Carlisle put medical bag back together. Sometimes, it was nice doing things at a human's pace,

"I guarantee you, I will never cause her distress…unless it's in good fun." Jasper laughed. Alice danced lightly over to Esme as she stood,

"Mommy?" Alice asked in a soft voice. Esme smiled warmly to Alice,

"Yes dear?" She asked laying a hand on Alice's shoulder,

"I love you." Alice said. She hugged Esme and danced off with Jasper to their room. If Esme could have cried she would have,

"I love you too." She whispered.

"In the morning we'll formulate a plan. Let Bella get one full night's rest." Carlisle said. I nodded and Bella walked forward,

"Esme, did you…did you mean to call me your daughter?" Her small voice was thick with exhaustion as she looked at my mother with sleepy eyes,

"I never say anything I don't mean." Esme smoothed Bella's hair back and smiled warmly,

"Thank you." Bella said. I smiled at my mother and mouthed 'Thank you'. With that, we retreated upstairs.

"I'm so glad you're alright." Bella said clinging to me as I carried her to the couch,

"I'm fine. It'll be over, soon, all this fighting. Is the couch comfortable enough for you? I could always go buy a bed." I chanced a smile at my love and was happy when her cheeks blushed, "Good to see I still have that effect on you." I kissed the top of her head and she snuggled into my chest,

"I love you Edward." She said. Her voice was laced with emotion, like she was trying to say something and couldn't find the right way to say it,

"I love you Bella. Is there something wrong darling?" I asked. She fidgeted slightly in my arms,

"I have something to ask you." She responded in almost a whisper though I heard her very clearly,

"I'll be here in the morning love, you should sleep. I promise I will be here when you wake up." I said bringing the blanket around her. She looked up at me and the moonlight bathed her face in a beautiful glow. My breath caught in my throat, "I will love you for all of eternity Isabella Swan." I said,

"Promise?" She asked simply. I smiled holding her face in my hand and stroking her cheek with my thumb,

"I guarantee." I said. This seemed to greatly please her and she snuggled against me. It was the greatest feeling in the world, having Bella back in my arms, safe and secure,

"So you'll answer my question in the morning?" She asked,

"Of course. Now sleep Bella." I told her. She nodded and quickly drifted off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Edward's POV**

A thunderstorm raged on outside as the nighttime wore on slowly. Thunder would occasionally shake the windows in my room, contorting the view outside into curious shapes. Bella slept through it all, rather deeply, and I was thankful. I sat on the plush carpet by the window while Bella lay, stretched out, on the couch; lightening crashed illuminating her bruised face and I had to tear my gaze away from her, I couldn't stand the pain that was evident on her beautiful features.

The night was always a curious time for our kind. It was hard to imagine what I could have possibly done with my nights before Bella came into my life. I would mainly spend my time listening to music, thinking, reading, occasionally hunting nocturnal creatures, but mainly I would watch the night. I never knew what I was watching, waiting, for but it was nice to feel that we had our own time once the sun sunk below the horizon. It was a calm time, but for me, tonight was anything but calm. My mind was working out the details of how best to handle the situation my family found itself in; it had been a long time since I had killed anything other than an animal, then again I wouldn't classify Jacob Black under the category of human at the moment. Still, as easy as it was to envision myself killing the son of a bitch it wasn't something to be taken lightly.

I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. Shaking my head back and forth I attempted to come up with a reasoning that wouldn't leave me feeling at all guilty, my head fell to the side and I opened my eyes to glance at Bella; she was wearing a Violent Femmes tshirt I had gotten at a concert Jasper had taken me to sometime ago. Her face was smooth and restful, save the bruises I would have thought she looked angelic, but angels weren't supposed to be battered and broken. I clenched my teeth in a moment of rage to prevent myself from growling too loudly. For her, I would do anything, I would take a life, I needed to take _his _life. With my decision in mind I turned back to the window, I wouldn't let any of my siblings or Carlisle and Esme take Jacob Black down, it would be me, and me alone.

My parents often tried to speak softly when they were trying to have a private conversation but it was hard when you had a son who could read minds and a daughter who could see the future, so it wasn't too terribly difficult to stumble upon their conversation as they stood in the hallway trying to be quiet even for vampires. Esme's thoughts were racing as were Carlisle's as I caught snippets of their conversation,

"I know it would make things much easier but this has to be his decision Carlisle. We can't make up his mind for him." My mother said. I was intrigued because, I figured, they were talking about me,

"I understand, it's just, she's been through so much that, it may be easier to leave…" Carlisle cut himself off no doubt because they were so close to our door, or Esme had given him one of her pleading looks, "Just let me talk to him, let me explain." My father's response was followed by a light tap on my door, I straightened myself up to make it appear as if I hadn't been listening,

"Come in." I barely whispered. Light from the hallway flooded my room casting a glow on everything. Carlisle stepped in leaving Esme in the hall,

"Edward, would you mind speaking to me for a moment…just in my office." Carlisle asked,

"No, no, I told her I wouldn't leave her, never again, that I'd be here when she woke up. I'm sorry." I shook my head as I watched Bella sleep,

"Son, it's okay. It's just down the hall, she'll be asleep when you get back. There's just a small matter I would like to discuss with you, please." Carlisle asked me. I didn't want to leave her, I didn't want to break another promise to her but Carlisle sounded so desperate, then again, what did he want to talk to me about that couldn't be discussed around a sleeping Bella

"I can't. I can't leave her…I--" I turned to glance at Bella once more. She looked so peaceful, finally sleeping, I couldn't disturb her to ask if it was alright, but there was no other way I was going to leave her. I gently shook Bella back to consciousness, "Bella? Isabella?" She opened her eyes,

"Don't call me that." She whispered groggily. I couldn't help but laugh, "What's wrong Edward?" She asked when she finally noticed that it was still dark outside. I brushed her hair from her eyes,

"Nothing sweetheart, Carlisle just needs to speak with me about something important in his office. I'm going to call Esme in here, is it okay if I go talk with him?" I asked her. She thought for a moment and nodded,

"Sure. I'll be fine, you're just down the hall." She curled back up and was back asleep in a matter of seconds. I followed Carlisle out the door and into the hall,

"Would you mind staying with her? Just until I'm done talking with Edward?" Carlisle asked Esme. He was doing a fine job at blocking his thoughts and it annoyed me a little,

"Of course. Not a problem." Esme smiled at me and walked into my room. She greatly enjoyed my book collection and could easily sit and read without disturbing Bella. Carlisle motioned for me to follow him and I complied.

We entered his well lit office and I took a minute to admire his paintings and books as I did every time I entered. I soon realized that I had a Bella to get back to and took my usual seat across from Carlisle right next to Alice's seat on one side and Emmett's on the other. Carlisle learned long ago that it was wise to have five chairs in his office during those "accidents" such as a broken window, or ruined garden, that often involved all children. Carlisle sat at his desk, his hands folded in front of him. He looked exactly as he had when we first met so many years ago, but, in his expression, he looked more fatherly than I had ever seen him,

"Edward, I've been blocking my thoughts." He started by saying,

"I know." I responded, "You've been translating Doctor Faustus. It's been just a bit annoying." I couldn't help but crack a smile. Carlisle continued,

"There's something I need to…propose to you and, I'm not sure how to go about it without you blowing up." I was confused, why would I blow up?

"Just telling me would probably be your best bet." I offered, I didn't like when people tried to string me along. Carlisle sighed, unnecessarily, and went on with his explanation,

"Edward, I'm sure you know that what Jacob Black did to Bella was…unforgivable to say the least." I felt a snarl leave my throat, something I couldn't block even if I tried,

"You think?" I asked sarcastically,

"Edward, Bella was damaged, physically and emotionally and we don't know what sort of long term effects may have been caused by what Jacob Black attempted and what he succeeded in doing. As difficult it is for me to say this I think, maybe, for safety reasons and for Bella's sake that…you may want to consider." He paused and suddenly his plan fell into place, I stood up so quickly that I almost threw the chair across the room,

"No! Carlisle, I won't take her soul from her!" I shouted. I didn't mean to shout,

"It has never been proven that our soul disappears when we are turned. Edward, please sit down. Think about this for a moment. Please." I was breathing hard without needing to breathe at all, I followed my father's suggestion and sat,

"I can't…it would cause her too much pain." I said staring at a spot on Carlisle's desk, I didn't want to meet his eyes, too afraid that I would find the truth hidden there,

"As opposed to what? The eternal pain she's going to feel from what happened?" He asked me,

"I'm going to fix it.." I said quietly,

"Taking Jacob Black out of the picture is a good idea but it's not going to fix everything son." He was right, I knew it, but I didn't want to accept it. I didn't want to take her soul, I didn't want to cause her pain.

"I don't want to hurt her." I said finally looking Carlisle in the eyes,

"It's the best solution." He told me flatly, "She'd be strong, the memory of what happened would fade with time." He went on with all the good points to the idea of changing Bella,

"What about Charlie? Where would we go? What would we say, that we're starting college early? Or how about this, 'Hey, Charlie, I know I was gone and crushed your daughter but now I'm back and we're in love again can I take her away for…ever? And change her into a vampire…oh by the way, I'm a vampire.' I don't think he'd exactly jump for joy." Carlisle knew I had a point but he was ready with an answer,

"I think Bella should have a say in this." He told me,

"I agree. I'll ask her in the morning. For now, we let her rest." I answered. Carlisle nodded,

"Now, about Jacob Black." Carlisle began. I could almost feel my eyes darken,

"He's mine." I said simply. In that instant, everything changed,

"EDWARD!!" A scream came from down the hall but it didn't belong to Bella, it belonged to Alice. Her piercing scream was immediately followed by the crashing sound of glass, that came from my room. I was out of Carlisle's office in an instant, I knocked the door in without even thinking and found Esme crouched in front of a trembling Bella facing a very idiotic Jacob Black,

"Esme, I thought you were supposed to be pleasant." Jacob growled, he too was crouched, ready to strike,

"Nice guess mutt. Ever heard the saying 'Don't mess with a momma bear's cubs?' you are messing with the wrong set of cubs." Esme growled protectively. I was by her side in a second,

"He's mine." I growled through my teeth. I turned around to see the rest of my family ready to fight. Bella was pushed behind Emmett's back near Jasper, "Are you really that big of an imbecile Jacob? That you would actually come near her ever again. I warned you, I told you, your life would be mine." My teeth were clenched and my voice was low and dangerous,

"I came for what's mine." His eyes flickered to Bella,

"You son of a bitch." I said. How dare he talk about Bella like she was a possession,

"It's true." He said simply, "Also, I wanted a fair fight and…seven against one doesn't seem like a very fair fight." Jacob and I were circling each other like a pair of predators, and that's what we were in that moment. I could feel my family getting closer,

"We fight as a family." Emmett said,

"I said he was mine." I replied without taking my eyes off of Jacob,

"Always the hero huh Edward? Where were you when Bella needed you the most?" He was hitting below the belt,

"Shut up." I spat,

"You think she loves you?" He questioned,

"I don't think she's a dog person." I retorted,

"I DO LOVE HIM!" I heard Bella pipe up,

"Bella stay out of this." I told her,

"Where were you when she was on the forest floor?" Jacob said as we continued to close in on each other, "Leech." He added,

"Mongrel." I growled. I was trying to concentrate on anything beside the images in Jacob's mind, "You know, I'm getting tired of throwing insults back and forth like a couple of pre-teens." I said through gritted teeth,

"The feeling's mutual." He spat back. And with that he leapt for me. I met him in the air and we tumbled through the window. We hit the ground hard still entangled in a snarling mess. Primal noises escaped each of our throats as we detangled ourselves. I stood facing Jacob Black. His entire frame shook and I knew what was coming, what would happen in a matter of seconds. And happen it did, where Jacob Black had stood now crouched a giant, russet colored, wolf. I took my stance and, in an instant, the wolf lunged for me. I heard Bella scream for me somewhere to my right, I figured the family had moved downstairs in case more werewolves showed up, but it didn't matter, this was all for her and I was going to make sure she was safe for the rest of eternity, no matter what the cost.


	11. Chapter 11

**Bella's POV a few moments before Jacob leapt for Edward.**

I never meant to endanger my family like this. I always imagined Edward's return differently, more peaceful, happier, never like this. I was terrified as I watched Jacob and Edward face off against each other, Jasper was doing his best at blocking my view but I could still see enough. I saw enough to notice Jacob's form shake, I saw enough to know what would happen next. 

Jacob morphed into his wolf form, the same wolf that had stood above me in the forest, my stomach churned. I saw Edward take a defensive stance, readying himself for the brunt of an attack that was surely to come at any moment. What I did next, shocked myself along with every member of the Cullen family. I wasn't thinking, obviously, who does in situations that involve life and death? In the moment that Jacob transformed the stance of every Cullen child and parent shifted. They crouched low, ready to protect their brother or son from the one creature who was even closely matched to a vampire. I saw my window as Jasper and Emmett's guard momentarily dropped and I bolted for Edward. I still do not know how I wasn't instantly grabbed by one of my vampires, I felt a stony hands graze the shirt that I wore, ripping it slightly but I didn't care, I didn't stop, I couldn't,

"DON'T!!" I screamed as the giant wolf came down on me,

"BELLA NO!!" Edward roared, but he got there too late, a millisecond too late. I felt the pain of Jacob's claws in my chest, felt the weight of his entirety on top on my small frame, I felt several of my bones snap in two like pretzel rods. Then, everything went black.

**Edward's POV**

"BELLA NO!!" Stupid girl, stupid lamb. I reacted as quickly as I could but I was too late, too slow for even a vampire. Jacob's wolf form came barreling down on top of Bella in one swift, sickening motion. The shock of everything came rushing to me in an instant and I quickly tore Jacob off Bella in a blur throwing him to the side. My family was there in an instant, Alice and Rosalie threw Jacob, now back in his human form, against a tree and pinned him there snarling viciously at his pitiful form. Esme called for her other sons,

"Boys! Go check for others!" Jasper and Emmett took off quickly into the woods to check for other werewolves. Carlisle and Esme rushed to my side,

"Bella, oh Bella what were you thinking?" Esme said quietly. I couldn't believe what had happened, what Bella had put herself through to save me. What could she have been thinking? I would have been fine, I would have killed Jacob and we would have gone inside and been fine. I was shocked, I could hear her breathing so I knew she was alive but I had no idea for how long,

"Bella! Is she okay?!" Jacob shouted. Why was he asking? Why did he suddenly care? I snarled at his words and didn't even justify his question with an answer,

"Shut up dog!" I hear Rosalie yell. Carlisle was bent over Bella,

"Edward, we need to get her inside right now." Carlisle's voice was rushed, urgent, not like I had ever heard it before. He sounded worried, and I hated that. I ran my hand over Bella's still face, her blood was pouring out over the ground and, for some reason, it didn't bother me. It didn't seem to bother Esme, or Alice, or Rosalie either; they cared too greatly for Bella to be bothered by the scent of her blood. I gently picked up Bella, she felt so light and fragile like tissue paper, Carlisle, Esme, and myself rushed toward the house,

"What should we do with him?" Alice called to me,

"Leave him. I started this, I'll finish it." I snarled. I could feel Alice's eyes on my back,

"But, Edward…" her tiny voice trailed off into the night,

"I SAID LEAVE HIM!" I said harshly. I knew Alice wanted to snap Jacob Black's neck just as badly as I did, I turned into the house and heard a snap of bone followed by a howl. I could only guess that Alice had just broken Jacob's nose. I only said don't kill, I said nothing about not maiming him. 

Carlisle threw everything off the rarely used dining room table,

"Lay her there." He said and he was gone in a flash and back with every piece of medical equipment he could have possibly owned. I laid Bella's still body on the cold table while Esme was busy wetting towels to clean…blood. I swallowed hard and had to look away as my father cut away the shirt Bella wore. I couldn't stand to see here like this, I thought I had seen her as broken as she could have possibly been but I was wrong, I was wrong and I had the power to change it. To change her. The question was could I do it? I began to shake with tearless sobs as I ran my hands through my already messy hair,

"Bella, oh God." I choked out,

"Edward go change your shirt." Carlisle said simply. I looked down at my shirt, it was soaked with blood. I was suddenly aware that I could feel Bella's blood against my cold stomach, I felt instantly sick. Carlisle and Esme were frantically trying to clean Bella's wounds. I quickly scanned Carlisle's thoughts,

"_She's not going to make it."_ His thought made me stare at my father. He looked at me determinedly, 

"Go change your shirt." He said again. Esme glanced up at the slightly harsh exchange between father and son. I was still shaking, how unvampire like of me, how foolish of me to start breaking down when Bella was dying on our kitchen table, but I really couldn't help it. I looked back at my father, my chest heaving,

"No. I- I- I have to fix this, I have to make it right…he did this!" I shouted as I pointed towards outside. I was still aware of Rosalie and Alice pinning Jacob to the tree, the wolf's thoughts were riddled with fear. Carlisle threw down the towel that was currently in his hands,

"ENOUGH!" He roared. In an instant he had me pinned against the wall, "You listen to me and you listen to me right now! You can either go take care of your grudge against Jacob Black and go snap his neck or you can take my advice and let it go for right now, get it together and save Bella's life!." I half noticed Emmett and Jasper enter from the back door, they stopped as soon as they saw the situation in front of them. Carlisle's sleeved were rolled up to his elbows and Bella's blood was smeared on his arms, it didn't even phase him. I stared at my father and, in that instant, found even more respect for him. , "You are going to have a very important decision to make very soon before her heart stops do you understand? Her heart is going to stop Edward! There is only so much I can do from a medical perspective. If you won't do it, I will." Carlisle let me go and went back to Bella. 

I stood for a moment, then, I looked at my brothers and nodded once. They understood completely and turned to go outside. I rushed to Bella's side and smoothed her hair from her face,

"Bella, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I never meant it to be this way, I meant to talk to you about it, to ask you how you felt…I never meant for the decision to be made for you, I'm sorry. I promise you that'll be okay, the pain will pass, we'll figure out a way to tell Charlie, we'll take care of everything. I love you Bella, I love you so much darling, everything will be alright." I kissed her forehead. Her heart was slowing and I knew that it was almost time. I glanced out our back window to see the rest of my siblings releasing Jacob Black from their grasp, 

"Run, as far and as fast as you can!" I heard Emmett yell,

"You'll be dead within a week." Jasper said as Jacob tried his best to stand up to the four vampires that crowded around him. He would be dead, he would be killed and if Bella wanted to do it, she could but if she didn't then I would stretch his death out to make it ten times as painful as Bella's transformation. 

The four converged on the wolf, roughing him up; then, he was sent on his way. Carlisle had watched his children torture the wolves with a stone face, it was hard for him to watch his children break the bones of any creature, not that he had any remorse for the wolf, he then turned to me,

"Edward, it's time son." He told me, the look I gave my father must have conveyed exactly what I felt. Carlisle laid a hand on my shoulder, "You can do it Edward, you have to do it." He said. Esme was standing nearby, 

"It'll be fine." She whispered. I nodded, I had to do it, there was no other option but letting her die. I pulled her hair from her neck, she smelled like such an odd mixture of her normal intoxicating scent of strawberries and the horrifying scent of wolf. I kissed her neck tenderly,

"I love you." I whispered and slowly slid my teeth into her smooth skin.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

--

**EPOV**

**--**

I would never tell anyone how Bella tasted. I would never mention that the moment her blood filled my mouth my primal instincts nearly overpowered my will and I nearly drained her dry. No, I would never mention those truths to anyone, they would be my eternal burdens to bear. I released my grasp on Bella, I was shocked at home primal I had become crouched over her like I was, and ran my thumb over the wound I had created.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to her, though I wasn't sure if she could hear me. I looked at Carlisle,

"I'm so sorry Edward…it was the only way." He whispered. I felt guilty, I had been so selfish but I couldn't have let her die, then again, hadn't I just taken her life from her in an instant? My eyes traveled to Esme's,

"It'll be alright." She told me simply. I wanted to believe her, I wanted to accept that as the truth, take the easy way out and just hope that it would all be alright. I glanced out the kitchen window, my siblings had all ceased their conversations and we looking back at the situation inside. I didn't want to know anything they had to say, I didn't care how many times I heard 'It would be alright.' it wouldn't make me feel any less guilty for what I had done. I shut myself off from my siblings thoughts, Alice moved to open her mouth but I held up my hand to silence her,

"I'll be back I just, I have to…clear my head." I looked at Bella, lying there lifeless. I could still taste her blood in my mouth and it sickened me to think of how good it had tasted. I knew the pain that was going to consume her soon, the searing pain that would wrap around her body burning her core. My eyes traveled to my father's and I found the expression there to be oddly comforting,

"I'm going to try and give her some morphine, something that may keep her unconscious for a good while. We'll do all we can to make this as easy for her as possible Edward…I promise." Carlisle said. I took a final glance at my siblings; Alice's eyes pleaded with me to listen to her, to let her in but I wouldn't, I couldn't. My feet carried me quickly up the stairs, what a fool I was for leaving Bella down there, what a coward I was becoming.

I rushed into the bathroom and locked the door, I looked in the mirror at my reflection and winced when I noticed a smear of blood on my cheek. I turned to the shower and turned the temperature up as high as it would go. My clothes fell to the floor and I made a mental note to burn them, I wanted no reminders of what a retched night it had turned into. I stepped into the shower and just stood there, the water was hot but it didn't burn me nearly as badly as it would have burned a human. I began to think, to plan, I wanted Jacob Black dead and I wanted him to die slowly. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself, trying to think of how I would handle telling Bella, apologizing for what had happened, but all I saw was him. All my mind would let me see was Jacob towering above Bella in the forest that fateful day, I could have prevented it if I would have simply stayed in Forks. I saw Jacob attack and Bella step in front of him, I saw his claws dig into her chest as I dove, a second too late, to the ground. I saw the pain in Bella's face, physical and emotional, that was a constant reminder of what Jacob Black had done.

Anger rushed through me as my mind showed nothing but Jacob Black's brutish face, I curled my hands tightly into fists and plunged my hand into the tile letting the wall of the shower have the brunt of my rage. Tile crumbled around my feet and I was certain my family could hear the banging and clattering of plaster as I destroyed what had once been a beautiful shower. I could almost feel my eyes darkening to pitch black I choked on sobs that sprang from my chest, I gave the tile a final blow and angrily shut off the shower. I ripped the curtain down as I got out grabbed a towel off the rack, as I threw the bathroom door open I saw my two brothers standing there. I was visibly shaking as I looked from Jasper to Emmett, and then, I let my guard down and was greeted with a flood of apologies,

"Stop. Apologizing." I ground my teeth. My anger began to lift as Jasper concentrated on bringing back together, "Thanks." I told him, he offered a half smile,

"Edward…" Emmett began but he caught sight of the shower, "Fuck dude! Esme's gonna be uber-pissed! What the hell?! Haha! Finally, someone is going to catch some shit besides me for breaking stuff in the house…high-five." He held out his hand for me to smack, Jasper gave him a 'are you kidding me?' look and Emmett slowly lowered his hand.

I walked to my room and they followed, giving me time to dress before entering my room, obviously intent on "cheering me up." I wanted to give them a chance but I was still angry,

"Edward, we can talk if you'd like. We just, we want you to be okay with this." Jasper began. I looked at my brother,

"Okay? How can you guys be okay with this? How is this possibly okay? Bella is downstairs turning right now!" I had begun to shout again,

"And you're up here…and you're going to stay up here until you can calm down. We're okay with this Edward because we can't imagine not having Bella around forever. You forget too easily that she means a lot to all of us. She's impacted this family more than anyone has in a lot of years, we weren't sure if you were ever going to find the right girl. Of course we're angry as hell that we couldn't talk to her about it first, that it had to be like this, yeah we're angry but Edward it is what it is. As much as Rose drives me crazy sometimes with her whole "logic" thing or how she can be a little cold sometimes I wouldn't want her to stay human and risk losing her someday. Can you seriously imagine life without Bella? She'd die in seventy years and then what? Your heart would be shattered and we'd be back to the same old Edward we had only a million times worse! Can you imagine losing that kind of love?" Emmett looked at me and I knew in an instant that he was right. I wouldn't be able to live without Bella for even a moment, not after I had been away from her for months. I stared at my big brother, our was not traditional, we had far from normal problems in our day to day lives but we did love and we did care for each other more than any one else on Earth. I hugged Emmett for the first time in a long time,

"Thanks." I said after I released him. He smiled at me with his big grin and I couldn't help but laugh a bit,

"Carlisle is making the change as comfortable as possible. It'll be easier than any of our transformations I can tell you that much. We were simply sent up here to make sure you didn't break anything but, from the looks of things, we were too late." Jasper said, "You have some plaster in your hair." He pointed to my head and I shook what remained of our upstairs shower from my bronze hair, "It will be a difficult adjustment Edward but it would have been equally as difficult for Bella to go on living as she had been…I have never in my existence felt so much hurt rolling off a human being before. Hurt, and despair, and blame, she blamed herself for what had happened, for you leaving for Jacob…" I cut Jasper off with a snarl at the mention of the wolf,

"Jacob." Emmett said, a growled again without meaning to, Emmett laughed,

"Cool, we found a new game!" Jasper smacked Emmett who shut his mouth instantly,

"What do you want us to do about him?" Jasper asked as seriously as was possible,

"I want him dead." I said simply,

"Duh." Emmett said, "Sorry." I looked out my window into the night, I wouldn't do it now because it would make the sharp anger return but I would delve into Jacob's thoughts, I would find out where he was,

"Do you want us to go look for him now?" Emmett asked, I could see the excitement in his eyes, he wanted to take Jacob down and he wanted to do it now. I shook my head and headed for the door,

"I want him to live in fear for awhile, it sounds cruel but he deserves cruel, Bella will wake up in a few days and I will let her decide. Either she kills him, or I do. Either way, he won't see it coming until it's too late." Malice dripped from every word and I felt the mood in the room shift,

"What about Charlie?" Jasper asked as I turned the knob of my bedroom door. I turned back to my brother,

"I need to consult your wife about that." I said, "I have an idea but, I'm not sure it will work, and I'm not sure Bella would like it. We have a week or so I believe before Charlie's return, a bit of time to decide what to do." I told him, Jasper nodded,

"The treaty Edward…" Emmett trailed off as if he already knew the answer,

"They broke it first, if they want to attack now they will be met with a very strong family whose anger management skills aren't so great at the moment." I told him with a small smile,

"Man I hope they do." Emmett said,

"I know you do." I clapped my brother on the back,

"Jasper, you will help her won't you?" I asked, Jasper knew how to handle the newborns, he knew the struggle. Jasper stood up a little straighter,

"After what I put her through, Edward, she's my sister now, I will help her any way I can." He said,

"Thank you." We followed each other back downstairs where Bella was now resting on the couch. I knelt beside her where I would stay for three more days.


	13. Chapter 13

**EPOV**

The next three days slowly turned into the longest of my eternal existence. Thunderstorm and thunderstorm pelted Forks and it made me wonder whether or not Charlie may decide to come home early. I had Alice on the look out for any change in his plans but, so far, he was staying true to his original idea. I hadn't left Bella's side since I had taken my place beside her after I destroyed our upstairs shower. I sat on the floor beside the couch where she lay in a morphine induced state, one that she had occasionally surfaced from only to be put back under as soon as was possible. Her screams would fill the house and sobs would violently rack her body when the medicine would wear off, and those episodes became more frequent as the venom took over her humanity and modern medicine began to have no effect on her.

I grasped at every strand of humanity like it was my very own lifeline. The slight color to her cheeks, the feel of her delicate skin in my hands, the strumming of her heart that was becoming weaker with each beat. It pained me that I could hear her humanity fading, soon her heart would cease it's comforting melody and I would be left with the painful silence. Every time she screamed every time she pleaded with me to help her the closer I got to running out the door and killing Jacob Black on my own, but I wouldn't leave her, not when she needed me. I had made that mistake before and I vowed to never make it again. I would crush her to my chest and she would whimper in pain as the fire consumed her, she had no idea what was going on, only that she was in pain and I was not helping her as she cried for me to do. I will not say that I would have never changed Bella, on the contrary the idea had crossed my mind. I was a selfish creature who desired Bella to be mine, I will admit that but, at the same time, if ever a thing had to occur I would have wanted Bella to have a say in when and if she was turned. Not like this, never had I imagined like this.

Finally, Bella surfaced. She whimpered slightly as her eyes opened, I swallowed a large lump in my throat to find that the beautiful brown eyes I had adored had been replaced by pools of black. I knew she was thirsty, I faintly remembered my own thirst, my throat feeling raw, almost as if sand had been poured in my mouth. She blinked feverishly as she stared at me,

"Edward?" She asked, her voice was hoarse but still as beautiful and melodic as ever. I rand my hand over her cheek, it was a cold as my own. She was aware that something was greatly different by, no doubt, the expression on my face. It took her awhile to get her bearings enough to where she knew where she was, "What's wrong?…what was hurting so badly?" She asked peering up at me. In an instant I had gone from sitting on the floor to sitting right beside her on the couch holding her against me,

"Edward…you're not cold anymore. Are you alright? Can vampires get fevers?" I chuckled softly at her silly notion,

"No Bella…I don't have a fever." I said. There was a long silence, no heartbeats in the room, and I could almost hear everything clicking into place in her mind,

"You, you…changed me?" She whispered. I couldn't tell if she sounded disappointed or not. I released her so that she could face me,

"I'm so sorry Bella. I was selfish but, you were dying so quickly. I had to decide, I had to do something." Words tumbled out of my mouth,

"I love you." She said softly. It took me back a little, why on earth would that be her reaction to me telling her I took away her life?,

"Bella?" I questioned. A soft chuckle came from my beloved and she leaned forward resting her forehead against mine,

"Finally, finally I can feel…whole, I can feel strong. Edward do you remember when I said I had something to ask you?" I nodded, it had been the night Jacob had attacked, that everything had changed, "Well, I was…going to ask you to. Well, to do exactly what you have done. Edward, my life was crumbling beneath me and I was barely treading water to keep myself afloat. Even with you back, the pain of everything that had happened, the sense that I was putting the family endanger and I couldn't do a thing about was overpowering. I wanted to leave my tattered human existence behind, I wanted to join you, I wanted to be able to fight, I wanted to be able to hold my own ground. I wanted to be with you for forever, I still do. " Our eyes locked and I knew in an instant what she was telling me,

"Bella, love. I never meant for it to be like this, for the decision to be made for you, whether you had wanted it or not I would have loved to have heard it come from your own mouth, on your own terms." I told her. She nodded and a sheepish grin appeared on her face, "What is it?" I asked, enjoying how her skin felt on mine,

"Of course I would have loved to have asked you myself…there was something I wanted before, well…eternity." This look on her was endearing, I knew she would have been blushing if the blood still pumped through her and it hurt my heart in a way to know that her lips would never color with embarrassment again.

"What did you want darling? I'll make it happen, no matter what." I wanted to show Bella I could provide with her even if she were now a vampire. I heard Alice giggle in my mind but I passed it off as nothing, I was concentrating on Bella and Bella alone. Her small hand found it's way to my chest and she rested it there, peering up at me with a mischievous glint to her eyes I was suddenly aware of what she was getting at,

"Oh! Oh…Bella." I stammered. I was suddenly nervous, an emotion I rarely felt, "Aren't you thirsty? You're a newborn you have to be thirsty." I tried, quickly, to change the subject,

"Boy am I ever thirsty." She said not taking her eyes off my chest her tongue ran along her lips. I grabbed her hands and quickly dashed out the door with her.

--

Hunting with Bella had been interesting, she was repulsed by the idea was needing to drink blood, she had spent most her human life avoiding anything to do with blood but she knew, sooner or later, she would have to feed. I would never tell her that I found her sexy in her predatory stance but, in a way, I did. I kept alert as she hunted, helping her to give into her predator side, telling her that it was okay to give into that side while she hunted. She was cautious, at first, to even try to chase down something, we were in the woods for several hours before she even tried. I had caught scent of a deer and had taken off beckoning her to follow me.

She wasn't as thirsty after the deer but I still wanted her to chase something down for herself, I told her it was a confidence booster something she could gloat about to Emmett and Jasper. I stayed close to her, but far enough away for her to not feel crowded, so I could stay alert to any potential danger around us. I still hadn't tapped into Jacob's thoughts to see where he may be hiding so I wasn't sure if he waited somewhere in the wings. Bastard.

Bella sniffed the air and took off like a bat out of hell. She came back, holding a dead squirrel, smiling very triumphantly. For the first time in a long time I let out a booming laugh,

"I love you." I told her.

--

It was some time later, after all the commotion about Bella's new existence had died down for the evening, that we finally landed on the subject of Charlie,

"I never wanted to hurt him so badly." Bella said. She was well aware that she would never be allowed to interact with Charlie again,

"It wasn't your fault. It was….his." I said grinding my teeth, I couldn't speak Jacob's name, I wouldn't.

Alice came and sat beside Jasper on the floor. We had all been playing "Apples to Apples" such a normal family event for a very out of the norm family day when Bella had become detached from the fun and had whispered Charlie's name.

"Your plan will work Edward. It will just take some time and some planning." Alice said as she lovingly stroked Jasper's hair. Rosalie and Emmett had already said their "goodnights" and Carlisle and Esme had gone hunting in case we had to move quickly and so they could be around more over the next few days to help with my plan,

"What plan do you have Edward?" Bella asked me. I had folded myself around her as she sat on the floor across from Alice, I sighed into her hair taking in the beautiful scent of her shampoo, that hadn't changed, her magnificent scent, it had only been magnified,

"It's the only thing I could think of. It won't be painless at all but there aren't really any options that will end painlessly. I thought of the suicide way but that seemed like the one that would break him the most, I thought of telling the truth but we'd all be committed. My last idea involves a fire…similar to the damage we caused at the ballet studio." I sighed hating every moment of the idea,

"It would work…but what about Charlie's belongings?" She whispered to me,

"Safe. Charlie has one if I remember correctly. We leave all the pictures, important documents, and a sizeable amount of cash." I said thinking of all the major possible outcomes I could think of,

"Won't he wonder how all his things got there?" Bella fired back at me,

"He'll be too…grief stricken to realize he wasn't the one to put them there." I responded. Bella thought of the idea for a moment, sadness filled her eyes,

"I wish it was different." She said, "But there are times in life that you have to be selfish. I choose now." She looked at me, she was brave,

"You're amazing." I told her, "It'll be alright, I promise. He'll never have to know about your confrontation with Jacob, or my return, just an accident." I tried to reassure her but I knew it still hurt,

"I guess it will hurt anyway." She said, "Jacob made sure pain would follow me everywhere." She growled lightly and snarl erupted from my throat at the name, "He'll know I loved him…that I will always love him. He is my dad, I don't want him to think I "died" hating him. Your plan will work, I can't think of any other way." Bella looked at me her eyes hopeful,

"I liked Forks. Stupid ass werewolf, I hate him." Alice complained,

"We'll be able to return in a few decades…more than likely." Jasper said trying to make her feel better,

"I'm sorry Alice." I heard Bella whisper,

"It's not your fault! It's just what happens…we'd have to move soon anyway." Alice played with the carpet, "I blame the mutt." She muttered.

"We're going to have a lot of fun Alice…I promise, as soon as I don't want to slaughter entire townships we'll have lots of fun, we can shop all day." Bella told her, Alice's eyes perked up,

"And you won't have to stop to eat anymore!" She sang happily. Bella laughed,

"And to think my last meal was an extremely burnt grilled cheese sandwich." Bella stuck out her tongue in disgust. Jasper looked up,

"Hey now! Not cool dude, I haven't cooked in….for a longgg time. Way before stoves had buttons and switches on them. I didn't know it was burnt!" Jasper defended himself,

"You still have a sense of smell Jasper." Bella shot back. I fell over laughing at my brother's expense, it was an interesting night in the Cullen household, for the rest of the night we sat and talked about everything, our beginnings, our ends, what to look for in a new house. Perhaps we knew what lay on the horizon, we weren't sure when but we knew a war would begin.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

--

**EPOV**

Bella and I were laying on the floor of, what was now, our room. Her fingers were securely laced with mine as we stared at the ceiling with nothing but the sound of my stereo echoing throughout the room. So many thoughts were running rampant through my mind, there were so many things I wanted to say to Bella, so many things I wanted to apologize for, so many promises I wanted to make, but she spoke first,

"I wish I could sleep." She whispered to me never taking her eyes off the ceiling. I turned on my side so that I was facing her and propped myself up on one arm, "When I slept then I didn't think about him too much. I mean, he still made a starring appearance in my nightmares but, I did have to constantly look over my shoulder anticipating he'd be there." The words rushed out of her mouth and I was certain that if I were a human I wouldn't have understood a thing she said,

"I'm sorry…" was all I could whisper. She sighed, without needing to,

"I think you're wrong about Charlie. I have a plan, I'm not sure if it will work but I think it will be less painful than burning the house down." She continued to look at the ceiling as I tried to decipher what was going on in her head,

"Okay, I'll admit my plan may be a little theatrical. I'm curious as to what you'd like to do." I told her. She took a deep breath and the words came out again in a rush,

"I'll go to the house and I'll leave Charlie a letter. Something along the lines of I'm running away and never coming back. It'll hurt him but he won't lose all his possessions, only me, which he was going to lose in the end anyway. I'll say not to look for me, he won't listen but, maybe, after awhile, he'll stop looking. That way, I'll be able to say some sort of goodbye, in my own way, I'll have some closure." Bella's eyes never left the ceiling. I desperately wanted her attention, I wanted to look into her eyes, I reached out and touched her hair, finally she turned her head to look at me, "I can't cause him anymore pain that I have to. Taking away his home isn't something I can do." She whispered,

"I understand. It'll all work out, whatever you want." I told her. I was determined to make this transition as easy as possible for Bella though I knew that wasn't entirely possible, a great deal of it was completely up to her. However, she was taking the change a great deal better than I ever expected probably due in part to her willingness to give up her humanity before Jacob Black made the decision for her.

"I'll have to ask Alice if it will work." Bella said as she hopped up. I automatically felt ashamed but I couldn't help but stare at her. To call her beautiful wouldn't do her any justice, she was radiant. Her skin practically glowed in the light of the moon and her hair shimmered. I took a deep breath and her intoxicating scent hit me, since I had changed her the scent she had once carried had been magnified tenfold, and it made the venom pool in my mouth. I felt like a predator as I watched her stretch and walk towards the door, no doubt, to speak with my sister about her newest plan, I had to act fast.

"That can wait until morning. I mean, tomorrow we will have to pack up and plan where we are going and the final verdict on how to best leave Charlie behind but, that can wait. Until morning that is." I stood up running my hand through my messy bronze hair. I crossed to her in an instant standing between her and the door, blocking my prey from her only exit.

The days of Bella being as delicate as paper were gone and it was difficult for my mind to process that. She was finally as strong as I was, maybe even stronger since she was still very much a newborn and that idea was frightening to me. I no longer needed to handle her with kid gloves, I could show her how she made me feel, the electricity she sent through me every time her eyes locked with mine or her hand grazed my arm. I could show her how much absolute, pure power she had over me. I could show her, and I would.

"Edward, are you alright?" She questioned, innocently. Innocence was the last thing on my mind. My mind was in far dirtier places where no one had ever heard of innocence, places where life was spent skin on skin sweat on sweat. "Fuck." I thought to myself, "I'm horny." I took a step towards Bella, my Bella,

"Bella?" I asked looking up at her through my eyelashes. Her tongue ran instinctively over her lips,

"Yeah?" She asked barely above a whisper. I couldn't stand it any longer, my body burned with an unrecognizable fire and I crushed my lips down onto hers in an effort to either control the inferno or drive it wildly out of control.

She felt magnificent under my hands in ways I had never held her before. Finally, I could handle her the way I wanted without worrying about powdering her bones under my grip. I tore her sweater away in an instant, she audibly protested and I growled against her mouth,

"Alice will buy you a new one." I said. She responded well to my advances meeting me kiss for kiss as her hands tangled in my hair and she was just as cruel as I had been for making her wait this long. She deliberately slid her hand down to my jeans, which were becoming tighter by the second, at a human's pace and it drove me out of my mind. Air hissed from my lips as she looked up at me completely enjoying the look of pure agony that was apparent on my face,

"Fuck or get off the ride Bella." I growled through clenched teeth. She chuckled a dark, sexy chuckle. I liked this model of Bella, I could take it out the packaging without damaging the value.

I wasn't sure when we lost the remainder of our clothing but I suddenly felt my bare back slam up against the cool wall. I made a mental note of apologizing to Esme later for causing a last minute trip to the hardware store. Bella's skin was as smooth as silk, as cold as marble, and as intoxicating as the strongest alcohol known to man and I was drunk as hell. We fell to the carpet with a loud thud and, suddenly, I could care less about virtue. I wanted her, I needed her, and I took her.

I cursed my self lightly for causing her any sort of pain though I was sure it would have been so much greater if she were still human. Still, I could not deny how amazing it felt, how amazing she felt and, soon, her light cries were replaced with moans that reawakened the monster within me. I growled and urged her on as she lay beneath me and when she took the plunge I followed quickly. I decided, in that instant, that it was the closest I was ever going to get to heaven.

We laid side by side for a moment before getting up,

"Yeah…I think talking to Alice can wait until morning." Bella said. I chuckled and kissed her hair.

We dressed and decided to go into the living room to see what was on television. The scene we found there stunned us both. Jasper stood from the couch zipping his jeans and turning, no doubt embarrassed, to walk to the kitchen. I peered over the side of the couch to see Alice who appeared to have been mauled by a very horny bear, she looked very confused which was a strange sight on Alice. She looked at the pair of us,

"Finally lose your virginity Edward?" She asked as she attempted to smooth her very messed up hair,

"Yep." I said with a confident smirk. She nodded, still confused looking as hell, and got up from the couch,

"Good." She simply said and walked up the stairs very quickly. Bella and I let out a booming laugh and fell to the couch. All too quickly we realized what had just happened there and opted to sit on the floor instead.

**BPOV**

**--**

The next day was one of the hardest days of my life. The fact that I was confident in my abilities to write a running away note to Charlie didn't quite outweigh my nerves about going out in public. I was scared stiff that I would quickly want to destroy the town so Edward agreed to drive me and keep an eye out while still giving me privacy to say my final farewell to the man that was my father.

We pulled up to my house in the middle of a light rain. I climbed out of the Volvo and followed Edward up the front steps, he stopped dead in front of me a look of fear evident in his eye as he turned around,

"Hi there Bella. How are you doing kid? Any idea when your father is going to come back from his vacation?" It was the voice of Mr. Sawyer, a very kind, old man that always gave me extra candy on Halloween. I prayed I didn't eat him, but, I felt no hunger, no pull, as I turned to greet him. Edward's eyes were wide as I made no move to attack and kill the man,

"I'm great Mr. Sawyer. Dad should be back in a few days…he can't stay fishing forever as much as he'd like to." I tried to make the conversation light,

"We all know he'd like that. Who's your friend?" He asked nodding towards Edward,

"Henry…Henry Masen." Edward extended his hand to the man. Mr. Sawyer shook his hand,

"You keep the air conditioner high in the car of yours son? Your hand are like ice. Save more on gas if you roll down the windows. You look like one of the Cullen boys." Mr. Sawyer said squinting to get a better look at Edward,

"I thought the Cullens moved. Last I heard, that's what mom said anyway. Dr. Cullen got a nice job offer somewhere, moved the whole family. Don't really blame him, somewhere sunny sounds nice on days like this." Edward made light conversation with complete ease though I knew his mind was ablaze with questions,

"Well, you get used to the rain. You kids have a nice day, I need to get to the store." Mr. Sawyer nodded, Edward waved, and he walked away. Edward rushed me quickly inside,

"Why didn't you eat him?" He asked. I laughed at his question, the corners of Edward's mouth twitched into a smile, "I'm serious…" He tried to say as he attempted to suppress a giggle,

"I don't know! I didn't smell his blood at all. Well, I did smell it but it just smelled like grossness…you know like in Biology when I pretty much fainted. It didn't smell good like…" Edward cut me off,

"That squirrel you so excellently caught?" He snorted with laughter at his joke at my expense,

"Did you just snort?" I asked as a new wave of giggles shook me. Edward picked me up and spun me around,

"Don't you see? This is great! You can go to college! You can go outside! You don't have to stay in for years until you can control your need. This must be what you brought over from your human life…you're repulsed by human blood!" Edward was giddy with excitement. I couldn't help but smile at him,

"I am one hell of a crappy X-men." I said. Edward smiled and looked toward the kitchen. His face grew serious,

"We don't have much time Bella, I'm afraid, unless…" He trailed off looking towards the kitchen,

"What is it Edward?" I asked,

"You can stand human blood. You can wait here another year, go to school, graduate and then we'll 'go to college' out of state." He said. I thought about this,

"What about you? What about me not sleeping? What about me not ever eating? I think Charlie will start to get suspicious." I said,

"I'll have to leave, I think, I'm not sure I'll have to discuss it with the family. We have technically broken the treaty which means at any second the pack will be on our doorstep but, we really don't care about that. According to us they broke the treaty first. A war is inevitable but we will, more than likely, do everything in our power to make sure it doesn't happen in Forks. I don't think this town could handle a bloodbath." Edward looked at me as I gulped at the word 'bloodbath', "I'll let you decide. Either you sever all ties now or later. Whatever you decide, I'll support you." Edward kissed me and he was gone, out back I assumed.

I stood in my kitchen for, what could possibly be, the lat time. Either I stay and finish school and have one more difficult year with Charlie questioning why I appeared to be pretty much glow-in-the-dark pale, and why I never ate or I could go with Edward, leave Charlie behind, and be part of a war that was going to happen because of a lamb that fell in love with a lion.

_Dear Charlie -_

_Do not go looking for me. Don't think that I don't love you with every part of me, you have been a wonderful dad and an excellent provider but it's time that I go off on my own to find who I am. Don't blame Edward and certainly don't blame yourself. I'm not going to look for him I'm simply going. I may come back some day after I've figured myself out but I need this Charlie, Dad. I'm sorry if I cause you any pain. I don't mean to. I'll be fine, I'll be safe. I did, after all, learn from the best._

_Thank you for always being there for me._

_Please, I beg you, don't go looking for me._

_I mean it._

_Love forever,_

_- Bella._

I choked on tears that would never come. Edward was there in an instant and I was in his arms,

"I love you." He said over and over,

"I'm okay." I whispered back,

"You are the bravest woman I've ever encountered." He told me and I laughed a bit, "We can burn the letter, you can stay." He said. I shook my head as I released myself from his grasp.

"I've made my decision. I can't ever be without you again." I said folding the letter onto the table. He looked into my eyes,

"You know there will be a war Bella." He said his brow creased with worry. I nodded and turned my eyes toward him,

"Let the games begin." I said simply.


	15. Chapter 15

**EPOV**

The trip back to our house was a quiet one. Bella didn't want to engage in conversation and I didn't feel the need to push her into any unwanted, uncomfortable, dialogue about the life she had just left behind. Dark, ominous, clouds were quickly rolling in positioning us for another round of summer thunderstorms as we made our way up the driveway to the house. Thunder rumbled through the humid air as I opened Bella's door for her, it was a slight comfort to know that we'd be someplace cooler soon. At the same time though I had grown to quite like Forks. It was small but people gave us our space, there was rarely sunshine but when there was the woods that surrounded our town provided my family with the escape we required. It was quaint, it was nice, it had given me the one thing I desired most in my life…love. Forks had become home and I would be lying to say that it pained me to be leaving it behind.

We walked quietly up the front steps just as the door burst open revealing a giggly Alice carrying a large box of, what appeared to be, a fraction of her shoe collection,

"What's up Alice?" I couldn't help but ask. Not that I had any say in the matter, speaking clearly from experience Alice was going to tell me what was going on anyway, even if she had been blocking her thoughts, if it made her this giddy she was sure to get some sick enjoyment from whatever was about to happen.

"Esme's voice is what's going to be up in 3, 2, 1..." Alice pointed behind her. Without fail my mother's voice rang out at an unusually loud decibel,

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN WHAT IN THE HELL?!" She yelled. Alice let out another evil giggle and took off at a skip to load her box in the U-Haul we had rented, or bought, I'm not really sure. I gulped. There were few things I feared in this life: losing Bella was obviously at the top of the list, Jessica Stanley actually catching me in the hallway swiftly followed, but I feared Esme's scolding almost above anything else. We had all had our shares of mishaps when it came to breaking things; unfortunately most forms of indoor sports had been banned because of Emmett's ability to get over enthusiastic during a touchdown sequence or the like and I was responsible for one or two Frisbees knocking vases over but this was sure to be the most embarrassing "talking to" I had ever received from my mother simply because it involved my brand-spanking new sex life. I paused in the doorway with Bella firmly held to my side unsure if I should go in or act like we weren't home yet,

"Oh don't you dare stand there and act like you aren't here young man. I don't need you or your sister's abilities to know when my own son is hiding from me." Well, Esme answered my question. We silently entered the doorway and found Esme at the top of the stairs glaring,

"Did you call me?" I asked as innocently as I could. Bella shrunk behind me, she obviously had an inkling of what was going on and I could sense that she was just as embarrassed as I was.

"Okay, I know you've waited ninety years but did you have to throw her against the wall like a bullet train?" Esme said. My mouth fell open at my mother's words, Esme rarely, okay never, talked like that and it was a little frightening. Emmett let out a booming laugh from the other room and glared in his direction allowing a small growl to escape my lips.

"Actually, that might have been my fault." Bella said meekly. I almost giggled at her confession and Emmett let out another resounding laugh. Esme looked slightly taken aback at her words but quickly passed it off,

"It doesn't matter what matters is we need to leave as soon as possible and that isn't going to happen if I keep having to make trips to the hardware store. Not to mention, we're supposed to not even be living in this town anymore. We can't afford to make any appearances." Esme did have a point and that made me feel a little guilty. After my mishap with the shower that had gone unpunished (for obvious reasons) my less than subtle way of consummating this new found aspect of my relationship with Bella left me feeling rather guilty, Esme loved being able to decorate and make a house feel as much like a home as possible, even if we never slept she wanted us to feel like if we had the ability we could do comfortably, she worked as our mother day in and day out and that was something we all needed to be appreciative of. Carlisle appeared beside Esme carrying a box of what I assumed to be his medical books,

"Oh they're just being in love dear. Let them be, we've broken our fair share of things in the past." I'm sure if Esme could have blushed she would have,

"That's not…entirely the point though I can see where you're coming from. But Carlisle, did you see the size of that hole? Edward should really consider playing football at the next college he attends…or Bella should for that matter." Esme said following Carlisle down the stairs.

"How about this: Once we get to Alaska we'll send Edward back to patch everything up. Then we'll put the house up for sale. No harm done." Carlisle patted Esme on the shoulder and walked out of the house passing a bouncy Alice on her way back in for more shoes,

"Well that's settled then, don't need to know anymore about my sex life do you ma?" I asked her hopeful that she would drop the subject saving me any further embarrassment courtesy of my siblings.

"Just…go pack." Esme said shaking her head. I grabbed Bella's hand quickly and dashed up the stairs to escape Emmett's laughter.

Bella sat on the couch as I began to sort CD's into boxes that Esme had placed on our floor.

"I don't feel right." Bella blurted out. I turned to look at her, she looked fine to me. Radiant as usual,

"Last time I checked vampires don't typically get the flu. What's the matter?" I asked truly concerned. She fidgeted with her hands in her lap, choosing her words carefully,

"This…all this." She waved her hand in front of her, "It doesn't make sense. I hate that your family is sacrificing everything for me. The stupid damn treaty, making everyone pack up and move again, all for me? I may be a vampire now but I'm still the same Bella. Why sacrifice so much for me?" She asked turning towards me. I moved to open my mouth but she apparently had more to say, "And yet, at the same time, I want to be selfish. I want to be far away with you and everyone where I don't have to worry about the wolves, or anything bad happening to Charlie. I want to be far away and safe with you. And I curse Jacob Black for ever existing because if he hadn't have done this then you would be gone and you wouldn't have to worry about your family's safety." This time I opened my mouth,

"Are you serious?" I asked barely above a whisper, "Really? You think I'd be happy if I was still away from you? Do you know that I was on my way back to Forks before everything went to hell? Oh yes, I curse Jacob Black to the deepest circle of hell but don't you dare think for one second that I would be happier if I was still far away from you. And before you are so quick to judge the rest of us you have to realize that every single vampire that's down there right now would do just as much for you as they would for their siblings, their children, and their spouses. That includes laying down their own lives. Our histories go back hundreds of years, loneliness consumed many of us for a time being, confusion, hatred, hunger, self-loathing, these are all things that dominated our senses for years but one simple thing brought us all out of our own personal darkness, love. Esme to Carlisle, Alice to Jasper, Emmett to Rosalie, and now you to me. And we would each sacrifice everything to protect the one thing that brought brightness to our dim existences. Trust me. Love is everything and none of us are willing to give up our everything so easily. You aren't a nuisance you are a necessity, please, Bella, accept that. As for the treaty, if they come we will fight. That's why we're leaving as soon as possible. I love you Bella, I love you and nothing can take you away from me, and that includes yourself." Bella leaned forward and touched her forehead to mine,

"I love you." She whispered. I kissed her gently,

"Now, would you like to help me sort these?" I asked gesturing towards the pile of CD's in front of me. She laughed her beautiful laugh,

"Of course." She hopped off the couch and joined me in the separation of my massive music collection.

"EDWARD!" Alice screamed. It jarred me from the pleasant time I had been enjoying with Bella as my mind quickly scanned her thoughts. I grabbed Bella and flew down the stairs,

"I've lost sight on our future. I can't see anything. I think they're coming, the pack." Alice peered at me, obviously frightened. Jasper wound his arms tightly around her as I walked out into the yard. I felt a snarl threaten to escape my throat as four large boys exited the trees. Boys, that was all they were, large and powerful, able to morph into the only enemy the vampire truly had but still, they were merely boys. They hadn't lived what we had lived, seen what we had seen, knew what we knew. They were simply boys hell bent on amending an ancient treaty that they knew little about,

"Son…stay calm." Carlisle warned. "You don't know what their intentions are or what they're capable of if provoked." He said through his thoughts. I was suddenly instantly aware of my brothers standing beside me ready to attack if need be. The group stopped a few feet in front of us, the largest one spoke first. I never cared to learn their names, I had no need to,

"I'm sure that you are well aware by now that you have broken the treaty." He spoke in a confident, rehearsed voice,

"And I'm sure that you are well aware that one of your own broke it not too long ago." I said in a cool, even voice,

"The agreement was to never harm a member of your family. We didn't agree to flings you may have." He was pushing buttons,

"She is part of the family." I snarled, "She may not share the name but she shares the bond." I could feel myself shifting my stance,

"She does now. Apparently, or we wouldn't be here. But beforehand, with Jacob, in the woods, that was merely unfortunate." The large one still spoke, the others were apparently there for either effects or if something got out of hand,

"Don't you dare speak his name." I growled low in my chest,

"Unfortunate?! You think what he did was unfortunate?! You really are dogs." Emmett roared. I glanced at my "older brother" curious as to see whether he could control his temper. His mind was racing with thoughts on how to best kill the wolves. I needed to calm him down before the situation got further out of hand,

"Emmett enough. They're just trying to push buttons. They have to be here for a reason." I said turning my attention back to the wolves,

"And if that reason is war you better believe we will fight to the end, and win. I've had a little experience in hand to hand combat." Jasper said in a voice as calm and cool as could be and that may be what made it an equally terrifying sentence. The large one turned towards Jasper,

"I'll drain your blood, leech." he spat. Emmett snorted with laughter,

"Good thing we don't bleed. Mutt." He replied. I shifted my weight, something in the mongrel's mind had caught my attention, a compromise possibly, but before I could say anything one of the other wolves leapt forward throwing Jasper to the ground,

"JASPER!" Alice screamed rushing to his aid but she was instantly caught by Carlisle. Jasper tangled with the dog for the briefest time, barely long enough for Emmett and myself to react, before he rolled the wolf off of him in one swift motion sending him back into his pack where he had changed back to his human form, a boy, merely a boy.

"THEY BROKE THE TREATY!" The boy snarled. Jasper was a little riled by the wolf's actions but hadn't been hurt in the process, now he was just fired up,

"Jacob Black broke the treaty the second he had her pinned down in the woods!" He bellowed, "Don't talk about treaties when your own kind so easily betrayed it." He snarled.

"And don't even think about assuming Bella doesn't fall under the treaty, she was family before she was changed she was family before we left. Just because we were gone doesn't mean she stopped counting as family. Or do you easily forget what family means when you're a bunch of dogs?" Emmett growled loudly beside me. I felt livid in that instant and I let my anger out,

"Besides, treaty is just a word and last time I checked actions speak louder than words. So, maybe, you should have passed on that information to Jacob Black before he decided to pin Bella down on the forest floor! Before he made her struggle against him, against the dirt, before he terrified her. Maybe you should have refreshed his mind on the treaty before he decided to attempt to try destroy her entire existence! Maybe you should have been keeping a closer eye on him before _he_ broke the treaty because as far as I am concerned Jacob Black almost murdered my wife, my mate. Does that make sense? Can you understand why I may feel a bit upset by the fact that you are standing here accusing my family of breaking some ancient, ridiculous treaty when you, sir, were the ones to cast the first stone? Now, if you are here to discuss compromises then that is perfectly fine but if you make one more move, one more single step against any of my brothers, if you so much as cast a disrespectful glance at my sisters or breathe in Bella's direction I will act. Do I make myself clear mutt?" I spat through clenched teeth as my eyes flickered from wolf to wolf. The large one eyed me with loathing and, in a way, a small amount of respect,

"Leave." He said simply, "We are becoming, exhausted, trying to cover up Jacob's mistake. Do not give me that look leech we do realize that it was a mistake. We haven't a clue as to where he has gone, he hasn't been in contact. If you leave Forks and vow to never come back we will let you go. It's all we ask that you do not come back looking for him, we don't feel he will ever return but we don't want that kind of confrontation in our family. We ask that if you go looking for Jacob that you do not come back here." The wolf finished and eyed me. I nodded,

"We were leaving anyway. My family and I feel the need to relocate to a, cooler climate. Thank you, I think, for your…kindness." I wanted to say 'thanks for nothing.' but I knew I had to keep it civilized. Anything to get the wolves of our property and out of our lives.

"It was not an easy decision, it was an ancient treaty that we were supposed to uphold no matter what but, as you can see, we never expected such…unusual circumstances to come up. Edward Cullen, I hope I never see you again." And with that they were gone. Into the woods, out of our lives forever.

There was still one dog, however, that I need and longed to do away with. But, for now, I was enjoying the feeling of Bella at my side her body mashed against mine in an effort to hug me as tight as possible,

"Never scare me like that again." She whispered. I kissed her head,

"Don't' worry." I whispered, "The next time I fight a dog there will be no compromises and I will emerge the winner." She knew what I meant by that but chose not to respond.

"Come on children, we need to finish packing. Everyone alright?" Carlisle asked as we all turned towards the house,

"Yeah I'm fine." Jasper said carrying Alice on his back. Rosalie held Emmett's hand tightly,

"I think I like when you try and be the hero." Rose said seductively to Emmett,

"NO! No, no, no, no. You two are staying right here. I will not have ANOTHER wall to replace. I don't tink so, you'll have to wait until we get to Alaska." Esme said. I couldn't help but laugh at my mother, at my family. What a normal scene for us, fun and light-hearted after the small scare we had just faced. Still, I couldn't help but wonder, as thunder clapped outside, how long it would be until the real storm hit.


	16. Chapter 16

**THREE YEARS LATER**

**BPOV**

**--**

Alaska was a beautiful place to live I'll give it that. It was cool and perfectly cloudy, just the right vampire weather. It had bears, which kept Emmett happy, and foxes that Alice enjoyed to stalk. Our home was giant, of course, set in the woods with a private lake only a short walk away. The house we resided in resembled a beautiful, rustic, log cabin but of course it was much larger than any cabin I had ever seen before. There were two stories and a expansive attic, the ceilings were extremely tall with beautiful wooden beams that Emmett liked to throw Jasper's clothes onto, while Jasper was in the shower. There were giant glass windows throughout the whole house that provided a picturesque view of the land that surrounded us and made the entire house glow when the moon shown through the windows at night. Esme had had a wonderful time purchasing giant plush sofas for the living room and beautiful furniture for all of our bedrooms, even though we didn't need any of it she enjoy making us comfortable and making our fake human facades as normal as possible.

I had learned many things while living in Alaska with my family. I learned that just because you become immortal doesn't mean that your clumsiness will automatically disappear. I had seen the boys playing hockey one day out on the frozen lake and I decided that I wanted them to teach me how to ice skate. Without fail Edward went out and bought me a pair of skates and the Cullen family proceeded to try and teach me how to skate. Alice was amazingly graceful, as usual, and she zipped around the ice like she was born to. Carlisle spent most of his time chasing Esme around the ice after she had stolen his hat (you know, one of those snow hats with the little tassels that hang down) and Emmett and Jasper played monkey in the middle with Rosalie being the monkey. Jasper, Edward, and occasionally Alice (when she could stand still long enough) tried their hardest to teach me, and, I was still more graceful than I had been when I was human but I was nowhere near as amazing at it as I had hoped. I had also learned that having a new car wasn't exactly a BAD thing considering my truck had bit the dust after the trip to Alaska. Edward had gotten me a beautiful black Audi that went very fast. Still, Emmett had promised to try and fix my truck and I was appreciative of that. I had also learned that I could be engaged and not complain. Edward had proposed to me under a beautiful full moon one night as we strolled along the lake. He hadn't made a big fuss, no getting down on one knee, no fanfare, no Alice giggling in the trees just him casually asking me in the 'intro to philosophy is quite fun oh by the way will you be my wife?' sort of way. I had accepted and now sported a beautiful dark blue sapphire set in a intricate silver band on my left hand. I told Alice I wanted something small, just the family, I mean, who else did we really know? She had nearly exploded with excitement but understood my reasoning.

I had also learned that I greatly enjoyed college in some aspects. One being that I had class or two with Edward and he was always something to stare at when lectures got boring and another reason being I enjoyed being in an atmosphere when people didn't know me as "the new girl", they, of course, still stared. You can't NOT stare at any member of the Cullen family, or any other vampire for that matter, but I wasn't entirely singled out. Also, I didn't have to constantly look over my shoulder for the next round of danger to come my way. We had upheld our part of the bargain to the pack to not return to Forks, and, for some reason, I felt like I didn't have to worry about Jacob showing up in the snowy north.

Jacob. What a sore subject for everyone involved. We hadn't heard anything from the wolf in all the years we had been in Alaska. Edward had looked, he had promised me that he would, one day, catch Jacob Black and punish him for what he had done. It was difficult to watch Edward obsess so much over him, he had spent many a day and night pouring over maps. He had left for two weeks, certain that he was going to find him somewhere out west. I had been a mess for two weeks, he hadn't allowed me to follow him though he promised if I wanted a hand in Jacob's demise that he would bring him to me. I think I had worn the carpet pacing back and forth while Edward was away but he had returned because I had begged him. After that we had decided to give up our search for the fall semester at the University of Alaska, we wouldn't think of Jacob, we would totally drop the matter and I told Edward I would allow him to resume his search during that summer after classes were over but before our wedding. He had agreed, after all, he greatly enjoyed compromises, unfortunately, we didn't make it that far.

I was majoring in English my first round at college and had a few literature classes without Edward which was a big deal at all. I enjoyed sitting in the back of giant literature lectures listening to the professor pick apart certain pieces of literature without having Edward next to me to drool over. No matter how hard I tried he still dazzled me. There weren't many classes that I took without being joined by at least one of the Cullens, even though I was bulletproof Edward was still protective, but in most of my literature classes I was alone.

That day was a particularly icy one in Alaska, it was getting closer to Christmas break and a fresh round of snow had pummeled campus the night before forcing us to either carpool in Emmett's jeep to classes or run. I sat in the very back of the large lecture classroom, amused by the mass of students coming in with bright red cheeks from trudging through the snow banks and melted snow all over their coats. Many were flustered that their boots made an annoying squeaking sound every time they touched the floor and other hated that the room became instantly hot as soon as they sat down causing them to remove their coats. My coat was merely a prop, it was cute and I liked the way it felt. My professor had been going on for fifteen minutes about a Robert Frost poem, an interesting poem titled "Fire and Ice". I hadn't really been paying attention, I knew the poem fairly well and was in one of those daydreaming moods so I had taken to drawing on my notebook, I realized then that I hadn't been breathing the entire class period and the boy sitting next to me was starting to look worried, I inhaled quickly to reassure him that I was, in fact, living. That's when I smelled it. It wasn't a scent I recognized and that puzzled me a little, it was a bad, horrible, smell. It smelled like something wet had been left in a hot attic for sixty-five years and hadn't dried yet and I instantly wanted to gag,

"Any questions about Frost's reasoning behind this particular piece?" I heard my professor ask. I wanted to ask what smelled so horrible and why no one else around me was running out of the room to go hurl but a hand shot up in front and stopped me from opening my mouth,

"Why do you think anyone would choose fire over ice? I mean, today is proof that anyone would much rather be warm than freezing." The voice hit me like a truck. I knew his voice, I remember the sound clearly, the dark tone that loomed behind his words, his ability to sound friendly in one moment and frightening in the next. I didn't wait around for him to turn to look at me, I could feel his presence the moment his voice hit my sensitive ears. I didn't care that everyone would stare as I sprinted out the back, thank goodness I sat in the back, I could care less that the professor wouldn't be happy with my attitude. Ha! If only he knew even a small fraction of what would happen if I stayed in that classroom.

I sprinted as quickly as I could towards the student center. I knew Edward and Alice had a break at that particular hour and found them sitting having a light hearted conversation at a booth. Edward's face found mine in an instant and he gave me a quizzical look as I rushed over to them as quickly as I could without terrifying my fellow students.

**EPOV**

"Bella…what's the matter?" I asked. I had seen Bella coming from across the student center and I knew she was supposed to be in class. My first idea told me that she was skipping but, from the look on her face, something told me that she hadn't exactly planned to leave class early. She looked terrified, something I hadn't seen on her in three years and it instantly made me hyper aware of our surroundings. Alice had quieted down and I could tell that she was searching for something as well,

"Bella, what's the matter?" I asked as calmly as I could. She looked like she was trying very hard to remain calm but her voice betrayed her as she shakily whispered one word,

"Wolf." she squeaked. I was up in an instant my swift movement sending my notebook flying,

"He wouldn't' dare." I growled. She nodded frantically,

"Apparently he would." She said. Alice had her phone by her ear in an instant as the three of us began to walk as quickly as possible out of the student center and towards the parking lot. My eyes darted everywhere as I tried to locate Jacob Black's thoughts. I found them, successfully, and they were revolting and unhelpful. Nothing he thought gave any clue as to where he might have been locate, all they gave me was a frame by frame description of how beautiful Bella had been that morning walking to class. The wolf still made my stomach churn.

All of us rode back to the house quickly and Esme and Carlisle were waiting for us on the porch as we arrived at home,

"We'll move more north, Canada possibly." Carlisle began saying as we rushed up the steps. I noticed that Bella stopped dead in her tracks,

"NO!" She shouted. Bella's outburst took me by immediate surprise but I was proud that she had something,

"I like Alaska. I like the University, I like the wildlife, I like the lake. Just because some flea-bitten mutt shows up to scare us doesn't mean we can't take him! It's one werewolf! One dog. There are eight of us I think we'll manage. We aren't running and that's that." I was proud of my fiancee in that moment, Carlisle looked at me,

"I don't think she's going to budge." He said in his thoughts. I shook my head,

"We don't know how long we've got, let's get inside." I urged. My family followed and we all converged in the living room,

"Gonna get a werewolf, gonna kill a werewolf, Jacob is a werewolf." Emmett sang as we all sat down,

"Emmett…" Esme warned. My siblings thoughts ranged from shock, to horror, to anger, to excitement (bet you can guess who was excited) as I scanned the room looking at my family. Bella sat beside me deep in thought, thoughts that I desperately wished I could read. Esme was terrified that I was going to try and go at it alone which were, of course, my full intentions. Carlisle stood behind the couch thinking,

"You know your mother won't let you go by yourself so don't even try to sneak out Edward." Carlisle told me. Since when had Carlisle been the mind reader? I had been planning all along to take Jacob down myself. I wanted his blood on my hands however repulsive it may be, I wanted him to suffer. I had scared myself with the amount of thinking I had done concerning Jacob Black's demise. One thing was for sure though, I wasn't going to let Emmett kill him, they could help all they wanted to but, in the end, this was my fight. Bella stood then and stared down at me,

"Of course he isn't going by himself. I'm going with him." She said.


	17. Chapter 17

This is the last chapter :(. Thank you all so much for all the kind reviews they were fantastic! You guys rock. Maybe I'll right some more Twilight fanfiction soon...I have found that it is a lot of fun!

Thanks again!!

_**EPOV**_

**--**

"No you are not!" I yelled as I sprang to my feet. My fiancee turned to me, her eyes beautiful and golden but dramatically intense. She clenched her jaw tight as she looked at me; I loomed a few inches above her but she was doing a fantastic job at scaring the shit out of me,

"Yes. I. Am." She ground out, "You promised me Edward. You promised that if I wanted to help you with this then I could and I do. So either you let me go with you or you don't go at all, Emmett seems awful eager to kill a werewolf today." She was hitting below the belt and she knew it but what could I say? I had promised her a long time ago that she could help and I would never break another promise to Bella as long as we both existed.

"She has a point Edward. She's not breakable anymore and she could help to…lure Jacob." Carlisle said. I shot my father a look that made him raise his eyebrows,

"Are you suggesting I use my fiancee as bait?" I asked. I didn't care how breakable Bella was I wasn't too keen on using her like a fisherman used a worm. She wasn't a piece of meat. Bella rolled her eyes,

"There you go again assuming that I can't take care of myself. I got away from him when I was human didn't I? Let me do this, let me help, please Edward." All of my siblings were looking at me as Bella and I stood staring at each other. I longed to read her mind, to know what she was thinking, but I couldn't. I had no choice but to trust that she wouldn't be foolish in her actions,

"I just don't want you to get hurt. I know, I know, you can take care of yourself don't give me that look dammit. I just don't know what you're planning, if anything." I rarely swore, especially at Bella but I couldn't help it,

"I promise you that I'll be fine. I'm strong now Edward. Two against one shouldn't be a problem…we'll be back in time for movie night." Bella winked at Alice who hopped up excitedly,

"I forgot it was movie night!" She sang happily. Carlisle pulled me to the side,

"You know that we'll go with you if you need us." He said quietly. I contemplated this for a moment, having my family waiting in the wings didn't sound like such a bad idea. We didn't know, and couldn't know, if Jacob had brought friends with him to Alaska and it could be a good thing to have some extra hands,

"I know Emmett would love a good fight. But if you do come I ask that you stay back from Jacob, Bella, and myself. This is our fight, as she pointed out to me, and we don't want to risk anyone else. Unless…" I leaned in closer to Carlisle, "Unless I go down." Carlisle scowled at me as if dismissing the entire idea, "Don't dismiss it Carlisle you know that it's entirely possible that he may be able to take me down. I'm not counting on it but we don't know how strong he's gotten over these years, Bella didn't look at him in the classroom so we're not sure how much he's changed. If he takes me down Emmett has my full permission to pounce just as long as you get Bella out of there." I whispered to him. He didn't want to admit it but he knew I was right. Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder and nodded,

"You know that we'll do anything to prevent that from happening. Your mother said it best 'we fight as a family'. She'd never forgive me if we let you get hurt. We'll be waiting but we'll stay put unless we have to act." With that Carlisle and I rejoined the rest of our family who were eagerly discussing attacking werewolves and what movie to watch that night,

"I want to watch Dr. Horrible's sing-a-long blog!" Alice was saying while perched atop Jasper's shoulders,

"What the hell is that pixie?" Emmett asked,

"Uh…amazingness in lyrical form…duh." Alice replied. Emmett rolled his eyes,

"Whatever…I say Bella and Edward pick." Rosalie said as I rejoined my siblings,

"We'll pick when we get back." I was amazed at how normal everyone could act while we were on the brink of a fight that could, potentially, end badly. I wound my arms tightly around Bella and breathed in the mesmerizing scent of her hair,

"Are you okay?" She whispered to me. I took her by the hand and led her out back away from prying eyes. We knew we had a big task ahead of us that night. I felt that we were the only ones that knew the importance of taking out Jacob Black and what a relief we would feel once we didn't have to glance over our shoulders repeatedly.

"I love you." I told her, and then, I didn't hesitate a moment longer. I clutched Bella against my chest holding her as tightly as I could. Then, I brought her face to mine and kissed her as deep as I possibly could. Our tongues were locked in a fierce dance as I tried to pour every ounce of love I had for her into one kiss. She seemed to understand and knotted her small hands in my hair. We didn't need to breathe so, in theory, we could have kissed all night, and I would have been perfectly fine with that. Bella brought me closer to her, if that was possible, and I melted against her as I felt her chest press up against mine, if I were meant to die tonight I would truly die happy if this was the last thing I got to do. Bella urged me on as my hands flew, instinctively, to her waist. Some would see the back porch in the dead of winter a poor choice for love making but we didn't quite feel the cold, we felt each other and that's all that mattered. I smashed her up against the side of the house, away from the large window that over looked our backyard. I continued to kiss her, my kisses traveled down her neck where I let a protective growl escape my lips and I grazed the mark I left on Bella three years ago. I loved the feeling of her skin against my lips, so smooth and cool almost like glass. Her hands found the buttons on my shirt and managed to rip through them quite effortlessly, I grinned at the fact that her vampire strength allowed her to undress me quite quickly nowadays and I didn't have to wait for her to undo all the buttons at a human's pace (that would have been torture), though, I had lost a few good shirts due to her impatience. I inhaled sharply as her hands grazed my chest, that's when I smelled him. The distinct smell of werewolf hit my nose and I quickly withdrew my hands from under Bella's sweater and spun around to crouch in front of her. A snarl ripped from me as I scanned the area for him, I found him, standing right in front of the tree line, I straightened up and glared at the menacing creature. He knew I saw him too because he turned and sprinted quickly into the dark firs.

"Son of a bitch." I growled. The fact that Jacob had been standing there, no doubt, watching Bella and myself made my stomach churn and a feral growl snapped from me. What a sick bastard. I didn't even turn around to look at Bella, my eyes were focused ahead, "If you want to be a part of this fight then follow me." I said and I took off running towards the trees. Bella followed behind me quickly, I was happy for her speed, and I could tell by my family's thoughts that they weren't too far behind either. The snow flew up behind us as we ran towards the woods, I glanced to my right and saw Bella staring straight ahead, as concentrated and fearless as I was.

We chased him for a quite awhile. We were faster but, I had to admit, he was crafty in the way he evaded us. Watching Bella hunt made me feel proud and guilty at the same time. I was proud that she wasn't scared, or nervous, in her actions anymore and that she was fully capable of taking down, pretty much, any animal that dared cross her path. I felt guilty, however, that it was me that had brought her to this point. If I hadn't have been so foolish to think that she would be better off without me then her trust in Jacob Black would never have grown and she would never have been attacked. I was guilty because I had allowed her to come along thus, putting her in danger that could have been easily avoided. Still, it was difficult to argue with Bella nowadays, she had remembered the promise I had made and was determined that I wasn't going to go back on my word. I was staring at my beautiful fiancee when we both heard the cracking of twigs in the distance, simultaneously we tore off in the direction of the noise and exited the trees into a clearing, there we found Jacob Black standing, or towering take your pick, smack in the middle of it. He had grown an extreme amount since I had last encountered him, his hair was cropped short which was an odd look on him and, if possible, made him look even more like a massive tool. He was wearing a long sleeved black shirt and dirty jeans, it appeared that he had been running for days. I looked down at myself and noticed that my shirt was still in the disrepair that Bella had put it in, I sent a smirk my fiancee's way and squeezed her hand.

"Did you bring your little family with you leech?" Jacob called. I could sense my family around me in the dark trees. I knew they were there, waiting and a small smile crept over my face,

"Nope. Just us mutt." I snarled instinctively stepping in front of Bella. Jacob shifted his weight to match mine,

"Hi Bella." Jacob said in mock sincerity. I was trying my hardest to not let his thoughts get to me but he was making it extremely difficult. He kept playing his encounter with Bella three years ago over and over mixed with images from the way he stalked her on her way to class earlier that day.

"Hi." Bella squeaked. I looked back at her, seeing Jacob again had terrified her. No matter how strong she was, and she was strong, it was evident to see that Jacob Black still elicited a certain amount of fear in her.

"You're alright…you can leave, everyone's in the woods." I whispered low enough for her to hear but not him. She shook her head,

"No." Was all she said. I turned back to the mutt and started to walk forward. I had to admit, Jacob Black did look intimidating, I was certain in my abilities to take down a simple werewolf but I was not confident in my ability to block out the disturbing images he was sending my way. I would never tell Bella but I was just the slightest bit nervous as I approached the towering creature. He stared down at me,

"We fight man to man, no phasing understand?" I told him. This was between Jacob and myself not between a wolf and a vampire, "Or can you not control it well enough?" I said,

"Oh I can control it just fine. And when I'm done ripping you apart and burning the pieces Bella will come skipping back to me." He said menacingly,

"She would never come back to you, she was never with you, not in a million years." I growled,

"I'm bigger." He said. Here we go again with the high school talk, I though to myself. I rolled my eyes,

"Yeah, but I'm prettier." And with that I sprang for him pushing him instantly off balance and to the ground. He quickly pushed me off though and I knew in an instant that I had underestimated his strength. He growled and we danced around each other in the circle while Bella stood back watching me quietly. I knew she was scared but she had no reason to be.

Jacob's fist tried to collided with my jaw but I evaded it and sent a kick to his chest. We tumbled like this for a time being, he'd get a punch in and I'd return one, it was difficult to tell who was winning. If I could get to his head then it would be all over but, for being as big as he was, he was still fairly quick. I ripped into his arm which made him howl with pain and his form shook a little,

"Uh-uh, bad dog, you agreed, no phasing." I growled. It's not to say that Jacob hadn't gotten few good punches in, I was sure my cheek bone was broken but I knew it would heal quickly. He had crouched a bit, holding his arm, and I saw my opportunity but just as I was about to spring towards his head when a howl erupted from somewhere in the woods. I turned, instinctively at the sound, my mistake. I felt Jacob behind me but I was too late to react I felt my feet leave the ground as the wolf whipped me at a nearby tree, I landed against the bark with a sick, snapping, sound. Pain shot through me as I opened my eyes to find Jacob standing not twenty feet from Bella,

"STOP!!" She screamed as I brought myself to my feet. Bella had walked forward,

"Edward don't…please." She looked at me and I couldn't tell what she was doing, and that frightened me. Bella walked toward Jacob and ran her hand along his jaw. I felt and instinctive growl build in the chest, "I love him Edward. Please don't hurt him." She said. Jacob began laughing,

"Told you leech! She'd pick me in the end, she'd pick the bigger man!" He laughed and stared at Bella with wide eyes,

"Jacob?" She asked innocently. Jacob turned to her,

"Yes beautiful?" He asked, his voice thick with acid. Bella beckoned for him to lean closer, he did and I saw Carlisle standing close to the edge of the clearing,

"I'll see you in hell." I heard her whisper to him and with that Bella quickly strode away into the trees. Carlisle shot forward and, while Jacob was stunned with what Bella had said, he slammed him against a nearby tree,

"Messing with my son, not the smartest idea." I heard my father growl, Carlisle hated violence but it was always a bad idea to mess with any of his children. Jacob roared and pushed my father off. My brothers were closing in quickly and I saw my chance, I took off into the woods, heading in the direction I was sure he was going to flee. And flee he did, my brothers had left a small gap and Jacob had pushed through, now he was running, scared, towards me. He ran right up to me and stopped dead, he wheeled around to run the other way but I pushed him quickly to the ground holding him there with all my strength,

"I agree with you Jacob. She did pick the better man, the only man. Bella is more of a cat person than a dog person. But I disagree with her, she'll never be in hell, never. Me on the other hand…I'll see you there mutt. Now fetch!" and with that I ripped the werewolf's head clean off and tossed it into the woods, I would let Emmett find it. He and Jasper would get some enjoyment out of burning the pieces. My mind was concentrated on getting back to Bella.

I found her with the rest of the family eagerly awaiting my return. She threw herself into my arms,

"You reek honey." She said as she clung to me,

"I know. Don't ever scare me like that again." I told her as I kissed her head over and over,

"Like I'd pick a dog over you." She whispered.

Later that night we sat in the living room. Peter and the Wolf played on the television, we thought it was a fitting movie to pick, and I realized, for the first time in three years, for the first time in all my ninety years of existence, I finally felt peace. We were safe, we were happy,

"I love you with every ounce of my being." I told Bella,

"I love you Edward, I always will." She whispered.

"EMMETT GET MY CLOTHES OFF THE BEAMS!" I heard Jasper roar from upstairs. Yes, everything was finally back to as normal as it could get in the Cullen house.


End file.
